TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // The Musical Ass by Tomas de Iriarte y Oropesa

The fable which I now present,
Occurred to me by accident:
And whether bad or excellent,
Is merely so by accident.

A stupid ass this morning went
Into a field by accident:
And cropped his food, and was content,
Until he spied by accident
A flute, which some oblivious gent
Had left behind by accident;
When, sniffling it with eager scent,
He breathed on it by accident,
And made the hollow instrument
Emit a sound by accident.
“Hurrah, hurrah!” exclaimed the brute,
“How cleverly I play the flute!”

A fool, in spite of nature’s bent,
May shine for once, by accident.

by TOMAS DE IRIARTE Y OROPESA (1750-1791)
Public Domain Poetry

TROTTERSVILLE #7

You can find TROTTERSVILLE #1 here > Ba Dum Tish!

by TONY SINGLE & TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2024

TATI’S TRANSLATIONS // Young Ukrainian Poets: Bohdan Bratus

Tati Translates Bohdan Bratus

Literary classics aren’t always created by the greying elder statesmen and women of the writing world. You know the ones. They’re all wise and wrinkly and impassive, and woe betide the scholar who dares mount an honest critique of their bodies of work.

You see, literary classics are also written by upstart youngsters. These youngsters are full of vitality and creativity. They live fully awake and fully aware during these very difficult times. Nothing escapes their notice and they’re unafraid to share what they really think. They walk among us right now, breathing, smiling and crying, loving and hating, experiencing the full range of their humanity without apology.

This series presents names that you won’t find in textbooks or on Wikipedia, but these are the very youngsters who are creating modern Ukrainian literature right now. Trust us, you will want to check them out because it’s only a matter of time before they become household names. When we go back to these writers in two hundred years, we have no doubt that they’ll be mentioned in the same breath as luminaries such as Taras Shevchenko and Lesya Ukrainka.

A poem about November

Again, I’ve lived until the Fall
Though last November
the way felt insurmountable
The Father says
the Winter will be tough
so, we should do the
canning
The poems are the same
‘bout November
I start to write in July

Вірш про листопад

Знову дожив до осені
Хоча минулого листопаду
нездоланним здавався шлях
Каже батько
що зима буде важка
тож треба робити
закрутки
Так само вірші
про листопад
починаю писати з липня

Original poem by BOHDAN BRATUS
Translation by TETIANA ALEKSINA

© All rights reserved 2024

TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // Lessons by Sara Teasdale

Unless I learn to ask no help
From any other soul but mine,
To seek no strength in waving reeds
Nor shade beneath a straggling pine;
Unless I learn to look at Grief
Unshrinking from her tear-blind eyes,
And take from Pleasure fearlessly
Whatever gifts will make me wise
Unless I learn these things on earth,
Why was I ever given birth?

by SARA TEASDALE (1884-1933)
Public Domain Poetry

Oopsies, Boobies & Course Corrections

Dear Readers,

We live in strange times where someone may buy a vibrator for tapping a hamster rather than for—ahem—perfectly innocent guilty pleasures. And ChatGPT can go on a rampage and generate blisteringly hateful… well, hate speeches instead of generating gluten-free cookie recipes. In short, you have lions laying down with the lambs and lambs shanking anything that moves. Anything that looks like it could be gentle fun only turns out to be more creepy and violent than originally anticipated.

All that preamble to say that we’ve arrived at a rather momentous decision… well, momentous for us and probably yawn-inducing for anybody else. Still, we feel that we must pester you about it because we like being annoying. It’s our thing. We are the kind of duo that puts a slavish amount of effort into our writings. We even spend an ungodly amount of hours looking for the best words—ALL the best words—to put into said writing, and we wreck our very brains for the coolest titles. We’re a sick pair, we are. Truly sick in the head.

But even with all of that, there was a point where we foolishly decided that this wasn’t enough and that the addition of wicked cool pictures to our deliberately chosen words would bring us more attention. Naturally, we preferred human made art wherever possible (yes, we still believe that Tony is a human being), but often we would choose the path of least resistance and use AI generated art instead. It was fun for a while, and even seemed pretty danged awesome, but this later mutated into a rather unexpected burden because… well, we just needed to get a visual something, a visual anything, for every upcoming post. And not to mention our growing awareness of the ethics—or lack of—swirling around the production of AI art. That got us wondering if we wanted to be perceived as art thieves in the online space or as the creative geniuses we like to pretend we are. We felt this cognitive dissonance growing inside us like mould on a fungus cake, but lumbered on through the months just following the same old path because we felt it was what worked best for us.

But the time has come. When we began to discuss this, we were surprised to find how closely our visions of unbolt.me’s future aligned. So, we decided to go back to how Unbolt Me used to be, nothing but a gaggle of words and a paucity of pictures on a (borderline racist) white page! You, Dear Readers, didn’t seem to mind that before, so we’re hoping that you won’t mind all over again. Yes, we wouldn’t mind if you didn’t mind. That’s all we’re saying.

During the coming days, we are going to make a spring cleaning (though it’s summer for Tati and winter for Tony… hee hee hee!) and get rid of all the AI generated stuff on Unbolt Me. After this, we’ll add ‘This is an AI free site!’ to our header, and you can be assured that all the shit and fuckups that remain will be purely our own. Consider us the Amish of the blogosphere, if you will. But without beards, bonnets and the mandatory noonday prayers.

Anyway, that’s all we wanted to tell you. We’re going to have a cup of tea and a lie down now.

Toodles!
Your Tati & Tony

P.S. And, yes, we added ‘Boobies’ to the title just to get your attention. 😉

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2024