Category Archives: POEMS

aeternum vale

should you ever leave
all air will void from this room
all days will follow
& i won’t know what to be
this hell on earth behind thee

if i hold this space
& leave the light on for you
fain would you come home

should you not return
with hope or fire’s foreboding
into pinpricked night
would i not slingshot myself
to find you & bring you home

if i never pray
i might never say goodbye
fain never lose you

should i lose my way
ghost into pain with a smile
then remember me
bid thee well a dying sun
circle an emergent moon

if i plead the void
to swallow the void in me
fain would i be free

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // A Dirge. by Christina Georgina Rossetti

Why were you born when the snow was falling?
You should have come to the cuckoo’s calling,
Or when grapes are green in the cluster,
Or, at least, when lithe swallows muster
For their far off flying
From summer dying.

Why did you die when the lambs were cropping?
You should have died at the apples’ dropping,
When the grasshopper comes to trouble,
And the wheat-fields are sodden stubble,
And all winds go sighing
For sweet things dying.

by CHRISTINA GEORGINA ROSSETTI (1830-1894)
Public Domain Poetry

the hagiography of lilith’s nethers (adult readers only)

DISCLAIMER: We recently received an email from WordPress warning us that a certain site—that we supposedly run—would be closed down because we’d posted materials of a pornographic nature. They later admitted that they’d made an error and had mistaken us for that site, but we’re still feeling rather confused. Do they really think we deal in stupid porn plots? No, stupid porn plots is not our thing! Our porn plots are always witty, funny and excursive in the extreme! So, meet and greet our sweet little revenge, and further proof of our professional aptitude.

lilith, the first wife of adam
ditched him for mad ol’ saddam
then got married to travolta

but after his hepcat twist with uma
she had a fling with an oompa-loompa
this pushed her to become a nun

but the god of eden was dead boring
so lilith went and got with göring
made some smut with a minolta

they cross-dressed and they did porn
but on this lilith soon heaped scorn
after that mishap she had with a gun

with this she found no satisfaction
and indeed no sexual distraction
‘cos it merely fired pathetic blanks

so lilith made an appointment
to let god know of her disappointment
with a loud “what the actual fuck?”

then, on sunday, instead of resting
god did some vital sex toy testing
so lilith could have a proper wank

after copping many a bloody callus
god finally blessed a silicone phallus
for lilith to have and to hold… and shuck

Censor Me

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

GUEST POST // Red Leicester mine by Jem Croucher

This Red Leicester cheese
is completely divine
but this is not yours
for it’s wholly mine

But if you’re near Co-Op
go get some today
‘cos your mouth will thank me
in every which way

by JEM CROUCHER
© All rights reserved 2023

TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // Sea Longing by Sara Teasdale

A thousand miles beyond this sun-steeped wall
Somewhere the waves creep cool along the sand,
The ebbing tide forsakes the listless land
With the old murmur, long and musical;
The windy waves mount up and curve and fall,
And round the rocks the foam blows up like snow,
Tho’ I am inland far, I hear and know,
For I was born the sea’s eternal thrall.
I would that I were there and over me
The cold insistence of the tide would roll,
Quenching this burning thing men call the soul,
Then with the ebbing I should drift and be
Less than the smallest shell along the shoal,
Less than the sea-gulls calling to the sea.

by SARA TEASDALE (1884-1933)
Public Domain Poetry