Tag Archives: 100 word story

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Practice Makes Perfect

Mr Zombie and Ms Werewolf were the cutest couple at the ball. Their ‘Wednesday’s Dance’ was so weird and cool that they performed it three times for the encore. Then for the finale they pulled Sir Gnome from the crowd and performed a rendition of the dance scene from Jean-Luc Godard’s ‘Bande à part’. The standing ovation was loud and rapturous! (It helped that there were no chairs in the dance hall.)

That evening, Mr Zombie, Ms Werewolf and Sir Gnome tried a three-way, but it didn’t work out. So, they exchanged numbers, bid farewell and parted ‘til next Halloween.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

100 WORD SKITTLE // Career Slip

Razorblade was sick of shaving pubic hair for a living.

He’d applied to the Department of Burly Beards but got a ‘Your application will be kept on file’ along with a pithy ‘Good luck.’

“Fuck that noise,” declared Razorblade. “I’m takin’ the high road!”

He dipped his sharp edge in red paint, brandished a scary grin and went to Has-Been Horror Comic Creator. “You need me!” said Razorblade. “I’ll get you into the news again!”

“Sure,” said Has-Been Horror Comic Creator. He took Razorblade, went to the bathroom and cut his veins.

Next day they both made the front page.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

PERFECTION IN ACTION // The High Art of Bargaining

He said, “Just look at his rather noble profile! You can hang this above your fireplace and tell everyone it’s your Grandfather. Thirty euros only!”

She thought, “I hated my Grandfather when he was alive, and I hate him now, so why would I want a painting of him above the fireplace I don’t have? And it looks nothing like him!”

But out loud she said, “Just look at my rather peasant nose. It’s an artichoke! Who’d believe that this refined gentleman is my Grandfather? Fifteen!”

He grimaced, saying, “You’re right. I can sell it for five.”

She punched him.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

PERFECTION IN ACTION // A Morning Call to the Vice Squad on Valentine’s Day

Giraffe felt quite offended today.

He’d been accused of peeping. Peeping?! All he’d done was pass a skyscraper on his morning stroll and seen two chimpanzees going at it through a fifth storey window. It wasn’t his fault they hadn’t bothered to close the curtains before their lustful bedroom tryst.

He’d turned away, of course, so he couldn’t be held responsible for happening to lay eyes on two dragonflies shagging near said window!

Then he’d lowered his eyes to the ground. Two horny shrews were bonking like there was no tomorrow.

What the hell was a poor Giraffe to do?

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

PERFECTION IN ACTION // The Scientific Substantiation of the Theoretical Aspects of the Perfect Seasonal Shape

I’ve given this topic a lot of thought. I’ve examined the ancient treatises and latest research. I’ve compared, pulped, sniffed and even licked them a little bit. And now I know the perfect shape for the perfect Christmas toy. So, you’d best don your Rudolph antlers and noses, grab yourselves a shot of brandy, and lean into what I’m about to say…

I’m not kidding by the way! Please don’t take this flippantly! It’s a very, very serious topic! One day, this information could save your entire Christmas.

The perfect shape for the perfect Christmas toy is a ball. Period.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022