Author Archives: Tony Single

GUEST POST // Winter Haiku by The Fixer

dear mice: stop shitting
in my toaster and I will
put away my traps

by THE FIXER
© All rights reserved 2022

captain ‘sirocco’ dustpants

if i chose a superpower
i would pick to be errant dust
i’d pass through glass and hour
fling into eyes with every gust

any batman, any joker
would be out of their league
neither spade nor super soaker
will slow my grainy blitzkrieg

you can hide your useless gun
and unclench those comic fists
my stinging blasts you’ll not outrun
get my warning, get the gist

not a sick, bloodthirsty flower
nor nipples spewing toxic lust
if i chose a superpower
you’d tire of choking on my dust

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

SPAM® Sushi #21

Hi, this is Julia. I am sending you my intimate photos as I promised.
— arode

Hi, Julia! Thanks for the X-rays of your coccyx. They’re really exciting but may we suggest you consult a trauma specialist instead? (And we prefer CT images anyway. They’re sexier.)
— Tati & Tony (Epic Epicurists of Erotic Medical Imaging in Search of the Perfect Stapes)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Double Bounce

Everywhere we would walk, your lovely petite mounds would bounce up and down so fetchingly. Stairs were always a welcome adventure. Cresting every curb was always a buoyant little triumph.

What I always loved the most, however, was watching them defy gravity any time you took to a trampoline. I’d be captivated, counting my lucky stars that I’d get to share my life with the owner of such exquisitely rounded delights. Up and down. Up and down. I was besotted.

And then you’d snap me out of it: “Come on! Get up here!”

God. Those heels! Please never wear shoes.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

lacuna bridge

let us remember
tie our navels end to end
umbilical dreams

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021