100 WORD SKITTLE // Hard to Be a God

Boreas ogled me knitting his grey, shaggy eyebrows. My naked skin crawled. I hated this, but it was better than ironing his creepy snake feet.

“Why must I do this, you old pervert?”

“Because, Orithyia,” he leered, “I enjoy watching you knit clothes that I’ll never let you wear.”

“Good! I’d sooner blow my brains out!”

“So dramatic!” tutted Boreas. “Makes no difference to me.”

The phone rang.

“Yes!” I barked into the receiver. “Oh, hello Mum. Of course.” My voice softened. “Pete and I can order pizza for you. No, we’re not busy. Nothing interesting ever happens during lockdown!”

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

the fitzroy killer

what kind of turtle breathes through its arse?
a brave one, that’s what, that moves real fast!
it doesn’t give a shit what you find reasonable
it’ll squeeze with its cheeks anything seasonable
be it bananas or tim tams or mini fridges
it’s all moshing green hair and bristling ridges
don’t stand in its path or it’ll gnaw your shoes
then down to the bone ’til you’re yesterday’s news!
what’s more, it doesn’t need any goddam excuses
it’ll blend then swill you like some vegan juices
so, you’d better not be messing with the bum breathing turtles
if you don’t want to rest in pieces between the scrubs of myrtles

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

THE NUMBERS DON’T LIE // Six Word Story #101

Dalmatians 101: How to Spot Puppies.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

THE NUMBERS DON’T LIE // Six Word Story #100

One hundred raptors can’t be wrong.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

THE NUMBERS DON’T LIE // Six Word Story #99

99 bottles of beer on—oops.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021