Category Archives: AWARDS & OTHER POSTS

TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // Solitude. by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all;
There are none to decline your nectar’d wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

by ELLA WHEELER WILCOX (1855-1919)
Public Domain Poetry

SPAM® Sushi #23

Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! It is the little changes which will make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
— Fencing Posts Near Me

Cheers! Very useful comment in this particular article! It is the little words which will make the biggest lack of sense. Thanks for… well, nothing?
— Tati & Tony (Two Super Bemused Fencing Post & Pole Dancing Inspectors)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // The Parrots by Wilfrid Wilson Gibson

Somewhere, somewhen I’ve seen,
But where or when I’ll never know,
Parrots of shrilly green
With crests of shriller scarlet flying
Out of black cedars as the sun was dying
Against cold peaks of snow.

From what forgotten life
Of other worlds I cannot tell
Flashes that screeching strife;
Yet the shrill colour and shrill crying
Sing through my blood and set my heart replying
And jangling like a bell.

by WILFRID WILSON GIBSON (1878-1962)
Public Domain Poetry

TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // Spring by Alfred Lichtenstein

 A certain Rudolf called out:
I have eaten too much.
Whether it’s healthy is very questionable.
After such a greasy lunch
I really feel uncomfortable.
But I belch beautifully and smoke
Cigarettes now and then.
Lying on my heavy belly,
I chirp nothing but songs of spring.
Longingly, as though on a ramp
The voice squeals from the throat.
And like an old lamp
The wind blackens the bitter soul.

by ALFRED LICHTENSTEIN (1889-1914)
Public Domain Poetry

Biological Weapons & Creaky Unicorns

Once upon a time, Tati & Tony had a small announcement to make.

You see, they’d been writing relentlessly for Unbolt Me since 2014. A long time! And although the site had been—and would continue to be—their top priority, they desired to stretch their creative muscles in other areas.*

Because Tati’s & Tony’s ambitions kept punching through the roof and plucking clouds from the sky, they decided to take a real swing at an actual real something. Something super cool and memorable. So they began this something in the month of January 2022, and soon realised that progress wouldn’t be as quick and smooth as they’d like.

Tati wrinkled her nose. Tony scratched his [REDACTED]. They may even have deserved a Noble prize for their optimism and willingness to adapt. Yes, they formulated a more reasonable plan. From now on, Tati & Tony would post on Mondays and Thursdays, not every three days like they used to. It’d still be a pretty frequent schedule, just at a slightly reduced pace. This was a good thing as not only would their readers get the chance to actually miss Tati’s & Tony’s crazy writings, they’d also look forward to each new post with even more unbridled enthusiasm than before. And Tati & Tony would have the ‘breathing space’ needed for the bold, secret project they had in mind.

In short, the adventure had only just begun. Tati & Tony hoped that their Dear Readers were holding onto their dentures. It was gonna be a hell of a wild ride from here on in!

* Of course, Tati and Tony were entirely too ethical to shamelessly promote their books and comics during said small announcement, so the peoples of this world could breathe easy. (Oops! Looks like they did it anyway!)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022