Our Dear Readers,
Do you know what an NFT is? Truth be told, we barely know ourselves! (At least Tony admits this. Tati, as always, pretends to know everything like an insufferable smarty pants.) Still, let’s attempt to define this in words we can all understand.
In a way, it was easier in the good old days, back when absolutely everything was physical. Who has it. Which one owns it. That sort of thing. But now we live in a digitised world. Our personal data can be stolen, our art can be copied and printed on t-shirts without our consent, and our songs can be swiped and shared anywhere online. (By the way, have you checked your bank account today? You sure nothing is missing?)
Let us take boobs as an example. Tony, being the pervert he is, loves to draw them entirely too much. He draws a pair, posts them on Instagram, and is happy for a while with the likes and lovely comments he’s getting… and then he forgets about the post altogether. Who owns the picture now, after it has taken up residence on the internet? Tony? Everyone? No one?
So, anyway, let’s return to our NFT muttons. Basically, NFTs (non-fungible tokens) are digital files that run the gamut of art, sound and video, and other kinds of creative work. But while the usual digital files themselves are infinitely reproducible, the magic of NFTs can provide one with proof of ownership. In other words, if Tony creates NFT boobs, he won’t need to prove his ownership of them, and can therefore sleep peacefully. He won’t need to clutch them to his chest like oversized pearls because they cannot be snatched away.
But this is good news not only for the perverted Tony, but also for you, Dear Readers. NFTs can be used to commodify digital creations. What does that mean? It means that boobs can now be sold in an official capacity! You can buy them like they’re the Mona Lisa or sell ’em on like they’re rarest trading cards on Earth. What an historic day for boobs!
P.S. By the way, despite our crude jokes you really can buy boobs from us. Of course, this is only if you happen to have a few spare coppers in your crypto-wallet.
P.P.S. No Banksy was harmed in the making of Tony’s booby collection.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
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