Teti-à-Tête (With Tony) #11

crumble-cult-210

Tati as TATI

crumble-cult-106

Tony as TONY

 

ACT 74 SCENE 1
CENSORSHIP & PROTÉGÉS

 

TATI: Give it back! Give me my drawing back!

Tati jumps around Tony, trying to grab a sheet of paper from his hand. He won’t let her have it, and keeps whipping it out of reach. He’s dodging and giggling while Button sits in the corner with a resentful look.

TONY: Aw, come on. It’s not that bad, and you know it!

TATI: It isn’t perfect! Look at the tail! The hip! That eye! Give it back immediately, you vile muzzle! I need to fix it!

TONY: ‘Vile muzzle’? What does that even mean?

Button sniffs as though offended, and turns away.

TATI: You! You’re this vile muzzle who wants to make a laughing stock of me!

TONY: Tati, if you keep abusing hell out of me, I’ll post not only this cute kitty but also your drawing for our upcoming ABCs book. Your Frau Earwig looks so freaking sexy!

Tati stops jumping. Her mouth is wide open from shock. How could Tony stoop so low? She goes and sits near Button in the corner, but Button gets up and moves away.

TONY: Aw, Tati, don’t be like that! I’m proud of all you’ve accomplished since I started teaching you how to draw!

Tati turns to Button.

TATI: Can you believe how shitty my life can be?

BUTTON: I can’t believe she’s asking me this…

TONY: I don’t get it. Why are you determined to hide your achievements?

Tati’s face suddenly flushes bright red. She appears to be quite shy and embarrassed. Tony and Button look at her with great surprise. They’ve never seen her like this before.

TATI: You’re a perfect artist, Tony. Your works are blameless, flawless. And mine… My cat looks like it was in a bad car accident!

She sniffles loudly.

TONY: Tati, it’s the im-purrr-fections that make your cat… well, purrr-fect!

Tati nervously bites her lower lip, but continues to listen to Tony anyway. Button seems to have forgotten his troubles and looks at Tony and Tati with interest. Tony hands Tati a tissue.

TONY: Would you let me show your cat drawing to the world?

Tati stands there in silence, and fiddles with the tissue in her hands. After a moment, she says with an icy tone…

TATI: Do what you want.

Then she hands the tissue to Button.

TATI: Hey, Button, I think you have snot coming out of your nose.

She turns away and proudly leaves the room with a look like she’s the Queen of England.

TONY: Good lord. If this silly girl would only listen to me. I’d tell her that I fucking worked my arse off for three years to get a Bachelor of Visual Arts in Animation. And that I have featured in fucking art exhibitions and… and… Oh, who am I kidding? She’ll never listen to me. She thinks she can learn and be perfect in just two days?! Oh, women…

Tony looks at Button. He thinks for a moment, then pulls out a sheet of paper.

TONY: Face or profile?

Button beams with joy and puts on his best pose.

BUTTON: Both!

Dear Readers, there’s Tony’s cat. Do you want to see Tati’s interpretation of this? Then click on the image and be welcomed to our Patreon page! There’s no waiting in line, and entry is free for our dear Patrons! Come one, come all, and see what the fuss is about!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

Button’s Big Boo

Boo!

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The ghouls and witches and all other manner of beasties are coming out of hibernation to ensure that humanity becomes increasingly perverted by fear and frivolity. They want nothing more than to have a vulgar party on cemetery grounds and to stuff poor, helpless mortal faces with sweets and other freebies. How shocking!

The situation has gotten so bad that even Button is getting himself into trouble. Oh, wait, he’s always getting into trouble so, no change there then. In this video, in his own adorable way, Button discourses on Wilde, Hitler, Hanukkah and… erm, a certain unmentionable medical procedure. (You have been warned!)

We hope you’ll enjoy our silly little whim, and wish you a happy and spooky Halloween!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017

Teti-à-Tête (With Tony) #8

crumble-cult-210

Tati as TATI

crumble-cult-106

Tony as TONY

 

ACT 11 SCENE 7
MONEY BURNING A HOLE IN MY POCKET

 

Tati is reading an advertising booklet.

TATI: (calling out) Is $22 worth much in today’s economy?

TONY: (from another room) I have no idea. Depends on which economy!

TATI: (to herself) We should drink away our first income.

TONY: I heard that! And, no, we shouldn’t!

Tony enters the room, a disapproving look on his face. Tati holds up the booklet for him to see.

TATI: Look. Hennessy VS 0.5l, Gift Pack for $22!

TONY: NO! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you some kinda lush?

Tati pouts, then her face lights up as something else comes to mind.

TATI : We should spend it on something nice like… HATS! We can buy hats for doves in the park.

Tony does a massive facepalm.

TATI: (a little less convincingly) For the sake of their heads… So the sun doesn’t cook them?

TONY: Jesus. What is the difference between drinking away this money and buying headwear for birds?

Tati pouts again.

TONY: (ruefully) Well, I guess the birds would benefit more than your liver…

TATI: Fine. What do you reckon we should do with the first income from our Patreon page?

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Hey, Dear Readers, would you like to read more? Would you like to know how wisely Tati and Tony disposed of their $22? Then why not pop on over here? We’d love for you to see the hard work we’ve done on our new Patreon page. There’s no entrance fee, we promise!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017