Teti-à-Tête (With Tony) #11

crumble-cult-210

Tati as TATI

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Tony as TONY

 

ACT 74 SCENE 1
CENSORSHIP & PROTÉGÉS

 

TATI: Give it back! Give me my drawing back!

Tati jumps around Tony, trying to grab a sheet of paper from his hand. He won’t let her have it, and keeps whipping it out of reach. He’s dodging and giggling while Button sits in the corner with a resentful look.

TONY: Aw, come on. It’s not that bad, and you know it!

TATI: It isn’t perfect! Look at the tail! The hip! That eye! Give it back immediately, you vile muzzle! I need to fix it!

TONY: ‘Vile muzzle’? What does that even mean?

Button sniffs as though offended, and turns away.

TATI: You! You’re this vile muzzle who wants to make a laughing stock of me!

TONY: Tati, if you keep abusing hell out of me, I’ll post not only this cute kitty but also your drawing for our upcoming ABCs book. Your Frau Earwig looks so freaking sexy!

Tati stops jumping. Her mouth is wide open from shock. How could Tony stoop so low? She goes and sits near Button in the corner, but Button gets up and moves away.

TONY: Aw, Tati, don’t be like that! I’m proud of all you’ve accomplished since I started teaching you how to draw!

Tati turns to Button.

TATI: Can you believe how shitty my life can be?

BUTTON: I can’t believe she’s asking me this…

TONY: I don’t get it. Why are you determined to hide your achievements?

Tati’s face suddenly flushes bright red. She appears to be quite shy and embarrassed. Tony and Button look at her with great surprise. They’ve never seen her like this before.

TATI: You’re a perfect artist, Tony. Your works are blameless, flawless. And mine… My cat looks like it was in a bad car accident!

She sniffles loudly.

TONY: Tati, it’s the im-purrr-fections that make your cat… well, purrr-fect!

Tati nervously bites her lower lip, but continues to listen to Tony anyway. Button seems to have forgotten his troubles and looks at Tony and Tati with interest. Tony hands Tati a tissue.

TONY: Would you let me show your cat drawing to the world?

Tati stands there in silence, and fiddles with the tissue in her hands. After a moment, she says with an icy tone…

TATI: Do what you want.

Then she hands the tissue to Button.

TATI: Hey, Button, I think you have snot coming out of your nose.

She turns away and proudly leaves the room with a look like she’s the Queen of England.

TONY: Good lord. If this silly girl would only listen to me. I’d tell her that I fucking worked my arse off for three years to get a Bachelor of Visual Arts in Animation. And that I have featured in fucking art exhibitions and… and… Oh, who am I kidding? She’ll never listen to me. She thinks she can learn and be perfect in just two days?! Oh, women…

Tony looks at Button. He thinks for a moment, then pulls out a sheet of paper.

TONY: Face or profile?

Button beams with joy and puts on his best pose.

BUTTON: Both!

Dear Readers, there’s Tony’s cat. Do you want to see Tati’s interpretation of this? Then click on the image and be welcomed to our Patreon page! There’s no waiting in line, and entry is free for our dear Patrons! Come one, come all, and see what the fuss is about!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

a Maniac (Fragment #026)

I pressed a latch and closed my eyes. My heartbeat started to slow down. I wasn’t late… which meant that I could continue with my education… and my language acquisition. Damn! Chilperic was especially tiresome today. Generally, he doesn’t grumble much… but today he was a true bore! He tried finding out where I spend my evenings.

“Er versucht zu dahinterkommen!” [German: He tries to unearth!]

I smiled at this thought. Anyway – I’m lucky! To get to have free practice with a native speaker… 24/7… How many people can boast that? I can! My teacher is watching TV I hope the sound will not muffle his comments.

“Stumpfsinn! Wer so spielt?!” [German: Hebetude! Who plays like that?!]

It’s a pity that I can’t write now… though I can hear the pronunciation perfectly.

“Sie schreiben Grabinschrift in diesem Augenblick!” [German: They write an epitaph in this moment!]

No… it was not for nothing that I came to him the first night. Of course, he does have some problems with social adaptation and interpersonal relationships… but now I’m sure I will be able to pass my exam.

I adjusted my handcuffs… they are broken and slip down my wrists constantly… I spoiled my restraints the first evening. Wow! Our project is ‘Super force for Super dweebs’… Didn’t I say that yet? If you’ll remind me to explain I’ll narrate… later… Oh, Henry I miss you!

I leaned against the radiator and continued to sweat over SWOT analysis.

“Ich murre – Du murrst – Er murrt” [German: I grumble – You grumble – He grumbles]

“Stop mumbling! Stop your fucking Geschwatz!” [German: Verbiage] What do you do?

I bit my tongue. Breaking News started. My teacher was again the head-liner. I’ve heard this for the hundredth time now… A maniac… kidnaps girls… has German accent… be careful… call the police… Blah-blah-blah… I yawned.

While I was falling asleep near the radiator, I was imagining a surprised look on my sweet Chilperic… When he hears my German, he’ll be stupefied… I adore his stupid face in such moments! (to be continued)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2014

Oops!… We Did It Again (Unbolt)

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2014-2018