Tag Archives: Comments

Spam Sarnie #1

At Unbolt Me we occasionally receive comments that are beyond our comprehension. Sure, the individual components look like words but taken as a whole those words tend to leave us feeling hoplessly dylsexic. It’s for this reason that we forward such comments to the relevant competent authorities to be deciphered and answered on our behalf. So, without further ado, we present the first batch of spam comments and responses for your perusal. Please enjoy! *

It can be applied in a much finer mist, thereby reaching between and around louvers and into seams, joints and corners.
– Piusygi

Ain’t it amazeballs? We’ve found it steams even the stubbornest wrinkles from the trunks of elephants that’ve naughtily stayed in the pool too long. That’s the power of Industrial Grade Unbolt™. Buy it today! (Squeegee sold separately.)
– The Grey Leg-Nose Carers League

I was one of those people passing around whiskey in the pit. My bag was barely checked. Just stuff it under something in your bag.
– Ullkxidg

Hey, thanks mang. Totally rad tip there! So, if we hide the booze ’neath the stash of crack cocaine we got in our rucksack, them sniffer dogs’ll be none the wiser? Dope, bro!
– The Not Terribly Smart Rum-Runners League

Well, you are capable of that but I’m warning you, that wont do much good.
– Cbangles

If by ‘that’ you mean grabbing the nuts off a Brobdingnagian Chernobyl Squirrel and attempting to abscond with them… then, yes, we agree.
– The Rodents Of Unusual Size Fanciers League

* We dare not guarantee the validity of the information found here in case it comes back to bite us on the arse. Honestly, if you’re in need of specific advice (medical, legal, financial, gynaecological), why in the holy hell are you consulting us? Please, we implore you to seek out a licensed professional instead. We’re like Mini Minors careening through the cake stalls at a county fair. We absolutely cannot be trusted to steer you aright.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016

Very Inspiring Blogger Award. A journey to the basement.

Hey-ho! Wake up, sidekicks! It’s again your restless Unbolt and another award. Well… this time I was nominated by Prakash B. Hegade (Oh, India! Oh, The Beatles Ashram! Oh, the Victory tower in the fort at Chittorgarh! I’ll visit you necessarily!) for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award!

I want to thank you, Prakash! Thank you very much for your nomination! And… the most important thing… you demonstrated to me a beautiful example of kindness and attentiveness for every one of your nominees!

“unbolt – A blog full of very different and unique kind of writings. They speak direct.”

Damn… I don’t know of a compliment that sounds better! OK. Three things that inspired me the most this week…

Followers, likers and commenters on my blog! 

Well, you know, that every award for me is a reason to throw a party and make a little noise. Firstly, my VIP-nominees. It looks like I have a strong intention to nominate you every time, guys! It’s not an obligation for you… just a joy for me.

field of thorns          Cyan Ryan          Tony Single           lordwalt

And… Anthonie! Thank you for your incredible poem! It was a really, really inspiring post!

This time, I decided to find my nominees among the commenters here. So, my party moves to the basement… to the section of comments. Nobody is against this? Nobody is afraid of spider webs and old creaky stairs? Cool! Take your flashlights and let’s have fun! What is hidden down there?

Wow! #1 godsend! A Nominee ‘I know your secret’ THE WORLD ACCORDING TO RYLAND

That must be why you look so young. Bathory is clapping her hands somewhere out there.

(Do you remember? You promised me! No one should know!)

Interesting? It’s only the start!

#2. A Nominee ‘I got confused a little’ Strings of Soulfulness

I cannot make out whether its a girl name or boy name. I am new to this name. Would prefer TIA (for girl name) TAT (boy name) if you are okay.

LOL… Okay! I’m OK! I love unisex style.

#3. A Nominee ‘Flaming dancing heels’ roundWorldnMe

Ouch ! It hurts! Next time I will challenge you for a Salsa. Train well to save you feet then, with my 8 inch pencil heels!

Oops! A spider… I stepped on the spider with my 8 inch pencil heel! Sorry, spider!

#4. A Nominee ‘Women’s solidarity’ LISTEN TO THE BABE

haha… beautiful… really love this. bloody idiot. well it’s not his fault really. we never tell them til it’s too late…

Oh, babe, babe… Men, beware!

#5. A Nominee ‘Mr Storyteller’ A CUP OF JOE

And I like to call myself Rumpelstiltskin

Mein Gott! Rumpelstiltskin! Who’s shouting here?!

#6. A Nominee ‘A new expression’ Study God’s Word

Yoicks!

Really ‘Yoicks!’

#7. A Nominee ‘Everyone does it’ Spahr Plops

You’re a little Sherlock! I really didn’t expect you to find out about my secret “hardcore” side haha.

Aha, Michael! Caught Red-Handed!

#8. A Nominee ‘Dead can’t overshare’… Oops! Sorry, this blog was deleted. But it’s really one of my favorite comments!

I disagree and telling people you masturbate while typing is oversharing

R.I.P., idiot!

#9. A Nominee ‘What a potty mouth’ PROSPERMIND

censored

##$%^&*()_{LKJUGHF#$%^4“*56g78V/*HBJNMK<L:)(*&^%$&&$@FDIDJ_^&*()_!!

#10. A Nominee ‘Shamelessly obvious reasons’ BEHIND THE WHITE COAT

Love this! (For shamelessly obvious reasons)

Damn… be careful! This stair looks shamelessly broken!

Rules, rules… How boring… Hey! Where is the light?! Guys, give me a flashlight! I should read the rules for my nominees.

1. Thank the person who nominated you by linking his/her blog and display the award logo.
2. Nominate at least 15 other blogs (more or less). Link their blogs and inform them about the nomination.
3. Mention three things that inspired you the most this week (you can talk about last week’s inspiration too).

Ufff… What? Dawn… The party’s over… We must go home. But the show must go on!

P.S. I want to thank all of my dearest Writers and Readers! Thank you that you spend your precious time reading, liking, commenting… My blog would be dead without you! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And Merry Christmas again for those who celebrate Christmas after the New year… like your devoted Unbolt. Please, be happy! Be silly and smart, weak and strong, lost and found… be different! But please, please – be happy!

I love you all,
Your Unbolt.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2014