A Valentine [From A Very Little Boy To A Very Little Girl] by Arthur Macy

This is a valentine for you.
Mother made it. She’s real smart,
I told her that I loved you true
And you were my sweetheart.

And then she smiled, and then she winked,
And then she said to father,
“Beginning young!” and then he thinked,
And then he said, “Well, rather.”

Then mother’s eyes began to shine,
And then she made this valentine:
“If you love me as I love you,
No knife shall cut our love in two,”
And father laughed and said, “How new!”
And then he said, “It’s time for bed.”

So, when I’d said my prayers,
Mother came running up the stairs
And told me I might send the rhymes,
And then she kissed me lots of times.
Then I turned over to the wall
And cried about you, and – that’s all.

by ARTHUR MACY (1842-1904)
Public Domain Poetry

her bulwark

inert, like grey stone
inside a ribbed dewar cage
she was all heart once
the drub and thrum of seasons
now preserved for the next world

Poem by TONY SINGLE
Image by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2022

Eros & Psyche

Just a quarter of an inch across and I’d have been pulling up daisies. Eros is packing some serious heat these days, a fact to which the hole in my living room wall attests. I’m standing here with two fingers inserted, noting the rough edges. Not quite as smooth as one would expect, yet so typical of a god really. Always demanding more than they can give. Always getting more than they deserve. Well, not from me. I refuse to pay him any attention. I withdraw to the bathroom to wash the white residue off my hands.

My mind drifts back to when we were fledglings. All Eros had in those days was a dinky little slingshot from which to fire his pixie skulls. We’d fossick for their wingless remains at the foot of the royal mosaics at Latium, right there on the beach alongside the unsuspecting sunbathers who would soon become our targets. Eros would rattle off a round or two as I egged him on and then, grin faced, we’d retreat to the rock pools before they could track our trajectory.

He was a brat and I was a chit, and there was a time when I would have sworn that we were made for each other. Not any more though. Eros is a fucking anal fissure and I’m righteously pissed off. That tends to happen when your heart has been so carelessly stomped on. For someone who prides himself on being the ultimate matchmaking machine, Eros sure was sucky at keeping our own relationship off of life support.

That hole. It’s bigger than it has any right to be. What the hell is he using? More than pixie skulls, that’s for goddamn sure. By junior high, he’d graduated to a compound crossbow with customised arrows sporting a filigree, heart-shaped tip motif. Who knows what Eros has moved on to since then? A Gustav Gun perhaps? With nuke sized dildos? No. The hole is big, but not that big.

Whichever way I choose to look at it, it’s obvious he wants me back. Eros has always been one to big things up, to over compensate in his declarations of love. Ugh. I really want to hate the bastard. Some days, I even succeed.

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017

Oops!… We Did It Again (Wardrobe (Half Empty or Full?))

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016-2018

CRUMBLE CULT // A Compilation

Have you missed a previous Crumble Cult, or want to locate your favorite strip again? Or maybe you need to find some incriminating evidence to confirm your opinion of the authors? Then feel free to click and read to your heart’s content! Or discontent…

Is Crumble Cult not enough buttery goodness for you?
Then why not check out The Crumbcast, an ongoing podcast series in which Tony talks about the comic, life, and other things. And ums. And ahs. A lot.

by MARK RENNEY, TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016