Tag Archives: Heavy metal

Tati’s Father

In 2019, I visited with my creative partner, Tetiana, in Ukraine. I wanted to experience what everyday life was like for her there, and was lucky enough to stay for a period of about three months. I had known Tetiana for years by that point but not her family, who still welcomed me—a complete stranger—into their lives with open arms. They really were so very generous and accepting, treating me like I’d always belonged there. I’ll always be grateful for that.

I loved spending time with Tetiana’s family so much that I vowed to myself that I’d return one day. However, there will be one less person to greet me when that day finally comes. Sadly, her Father has just passed away. As you can imagine, Tetiana, and her Mother and Brother, are gutted—so am I, to be honest. Her Father and I often bonded over our shared love of heavy metal. We’d do devil horns as a greeting, and he’d comb through YouTube clips to introduce me to many of his favourite, classic bands.

While I was there, Tetiana and I cobbled together some personalised mugs as a gift to her family—a thank you for allowing me to stay with them. Along with loving all things metal, her Father was also a huge Beatles fan, so I’m sure you can tell what famous photo our own image was aping. The man on the far right there is Tetiana’s Father. He was so fucking cool, and I hope my drawing captures something of his indomitable, adventurous spirit.

Truly, he was a beautiful man, and the world is poorer without him. I miss him greatly.

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2025

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Heavy Metal Mauna

I opened my mouth and screamed at the top of my lungs. The wind snatched up my scream, carrying it far, far away to a land where all people are mute.

As a result, I too became mute, and was so for many years. The scream had left me completely spent, so I retired to bed and existed there in a state of perfect, perpetual sleep.

Meanwhile, those people in that faraway land had all caught the scream. They took it, they shared it, and they all began to talk to one another again.

And they’d never felt more awake.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

Sullen Earth

Is there a band whose music has been like an old friend to you down through the years? My Silent Wake has been that band for me. Hailing from the coastal town of Weston-super-Mare in England, they’ve been making doomy metal since 2005. And while the music itself may seem quite brutal and depressing, believe me when I say that it’s gotten me through some bleak times in my life.

There were many years of suicidal ideation, many years of crushing anxiety, many years of toxic religion. Throughout it all, the songs of My Silent Wake gave me a safe space in which I could unearth myself and actually breathe. I felt buried by life. I needed air. This music gave me that.

I’ve been doing much better for over a decade now, and listening to My Silent Wake these days continues to bring me joy. I feel moved by it, free because of it, maybe even a bit empowered by it. I am grateful that this band exists, and I’m grateful to all its members, past and present, who have made it what it is today. I recently shared an image I’d created with Ian Arkley—one of its founding members—as just a little thank you for… well, everything. Unbeknownst to me, he decided to set this image to the song it had been inspired by—called ‘Sullen Earth’—and put it on YouTube.

I’m grinning like a dope.

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

Lose to Night

Sisu in the face of certain doom.

There’s no earthly reason why I should be feeling what I feel today. From when my head left its pillow my stomach kicked in. It’s a coil of snakes writhing and golloping me up inside. I can’t concentrate to work. I can’t let go and play. I can only churn times ten. I’m a tight knot waiting to unravel.

The years have seen many friends fall to this monstrosity at the middle of me. Emotionally, I’m just too high maintenance. I go out of my way to cover it up but at some point the façade crumbles. It always does. And then they see me for what I really am. And they get overwhelmed. And eventually they flee.

So now I lock myself away, waiting to unspool. Please, for the love of criminy, just let me unspool. I want to come unutterably and exhaustively undone. Can I rejoin society then? I’m scared of losing the two people I care most about in this world. I need to be safe. Or at least safe enough to handle.

It’s not about aggression. That isn’t why I sit in this room listening to my music. It’s about having something be louder than something else. I need to rumble the snakes out, to shake the bastards loose. To let heavy metal do its thing. Maybe it can save me from myself this time. No, seriously. As preposterous and overblown as that might sound—as metal might sound—just… just save me.

I hear the voices roaring from the speakers. I feel them thundering from beneath the earth, drowning out my insides. And even as I lay buried, my roiling innards will not be silenced. So I scream too, adding my voice to this cognitive and sonorous dissonance. It’s never been about aggression. It’s always been about survival. About letting people know I’m still buried down here. Sleep is so stupid and wasteful. I have to live. I want to live.

I see you, you things inside of me. God, you’re beautiful, but you’re sick. I know what you are. And I know you cannot have me. See? I’m lobbing a Molotov. I’m torching you, motherfuckers. I will not lose to night.

Yeah. Sisu. Sisu in the face of certain doom. That’s what I choose.

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017