* CROW 1: Amazon!
CROW 2: No, Barnes & Noble!
CROW 3: You’re idiots! iBookstore! I personally saw!
Who’s right? Actually, they all are. Our new book is available here, there, and everywhere.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016
Time for more six word stories.
They were all written by you,
our dear readers. Oh my, yes!
We’ve finally posted them right here,
so don’t throat punch us, okay?
Such a long time to wait!
Story 1:
Six words can’t tell a story.
Story 2:
What’s more, there isn’t enough substance.
by Sheldon Kleeman
Story 3:
Clever! Thanks for making me laugh.
by Daal Praderas
Story 4:
There IS peace in love… Amen!
by Rjoherman
Story 5:
I have a single porpoise tooth.
Story 6:
Tuna Safe Dolphin Meat is good.
Story 7:
“Please kill me,” my clone whispered.
Story 8:
I think these pills work fast.
Story 9:
My umbilical noose is too tight.
by Epic Fantasy
Story 10:
Sharks are nice. Hey, my arm!
by Phoenix Risen Poetry
Story 11:
Phew, what an interesting looking blog!
by Andy Smart
Story 12:
Love tried to take me alive.
by Kelly in ya Belly
Story 13:
“Where in Hell?” “Yes, you are.”
by Malakki
Story 14:
“Please don’t go.” “Don’t let me.”
Story 15:
She was a killer without heels.
Story 16:
The heart untied the mind’s knot.
by Nandita Yata
Story 17:
If you die then you’re mine.
by Dom
Story 18:
Give me a break. I’m dying.
Story 19:
Can’t you see? I am dead.
by Taizo
Story 20:
Am I a burden to reply?
by Lauren
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016
Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)
Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.
We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*
If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.
* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016-2018
In 1937, long before either of us existed, spam was born. That predates the internet, kids. The freakin’ INTERNET! And instead of reading spam, people would eat it. The horror!
Still, that’s not as bad as what took place in 1965. Somewhere in a movie studio in Japan, a can of refrigerated spam was hit by a downed Soviet bomber, setting off a nuclear explosion which in turn caused Spamera to be born.
Spamera didn’t have an easy time growing up. He was both a bully and the bullied. Any time he used his immense turtle shell to crush his enemies, it only served to sink him into a deeper depression. He was a pacifist by nature but everyone wanted him to be mean because he looked mean. Talk about messed up!
It’s much like the spam that clogs our inbox on a daily basis. Messed up! Still, we try to be civil and answer it all. Well, sometimes we’re not so civil…
It is the best time to make some plans for the long run and it is time to be happy. I have learn this submit and if I may I wish to suggest you few fascinating issues or advice. Perhaps you could write subsequent articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more things about it!
– Kiersten
Of course, Kiersten! We’re renowned experts in the field of ‘how to be happy for the really long run’. Unfortunately, the funeral guys took our pen and diary away. So we died. Damn.
– So Freaking Over the Moon League
I have not checked in here for some time since I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it friend 🙂
– ydxsnsx
God. We’re so relieved. We were on the verge of shutting the blog down! Hell, we would’ve faded away to nothing had you decided not to come back and grace us with your magnificent magnanimosity of magisterial proportions. Truly, you are a king/queen/thing among… erm, other things!
– Your Groveling Sycophants of Pathetic Needy-Weediness League
Her work frequently appears on many Internet sites and on her own organizing site Clutter Free Living as well as in her monthly Home Organizing Newsletter How to Be Clutter Free
– ttkdqqlx
Yet how strangely cluttered your sentences and username are. Erm. Is that you, Tati?! Is there something you need to tell me? Am I taking up too much space here?
– The Something Something Fill-it-up-With-Anything League
I see your page needs some fresh content. Writing manually is time consuming, there is tool for this task. Just search in gogle for; Fejlando’s tips
– AshleighSecc
Oh my god. For a moment there I read this as ‘Fellatio’s tips’.
– The Just Putting That Out There League
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016
TONY SINGLE: Tell us a little bit about yourself?
TETIANA ALEKSINA: Next question please. Can you ask something more important?
TONY: Of course. Have you ever been tipped by a cow?
TETIANA: No. But I have been licked by a ram.
TONY: Really?
TETIANA: Yep. I was very little. An infant. My parents carried me in a pram past a farm. And I… hmmm… well, I pooed. My mum laid me on the grass and started to fiddle with dirty diapers. And a ram walked to me and sniffed me. And then started to lick me. When my mother saw this, she was shocked and frightened. But I laughed. It’s pretty ticklish when a ram licks your bare ass, you know.
TONY: Exciting! What do you want to be when you grow up?
TETIANA: A child.
TONY: Are you a group person or a loner?
TETIANA: A loner, without doubts. Life often pushes me ahead and forces me to be a leader. I have to do this, but reluctantly.
TONY: How would your friends describe you?
TETIANA: “You’re on the way to becoming an alien being.”
TONY: What made you decide to learn English?
TETIANA: What made you ask such a silly question? About 55% sites on the internet in English. About 30% of the world population speak English. It’s a chance to reach and to be reached. To hear and to be heard. It’s a chance to connect with the world. Well… the main reason, honestly? English is much more easy than Chinese.
TONY: You get to travel anywhere. Where and why?
TETIANA: There’s nothing more marvelous, frightening and tantalising than your inner Universe. Are you brave enough to meet the real you?
TONY: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
TETIANA: Many of our traditional recipes can look weird or even shocking for foreigners. Kangaroo balls.
TONY: Tish pshaw! Not a big deal. I eat those every day.
TETIANA: Russian Blood Candy. I eat those often.
TONY: What the fuck?!
TETIANA: So, what do you call ‘strange’?
TONY: Something that looks totally weird and not at all edible.
TETIANA: I think every child ate such things. I loved to chew paper.
TONY: Tell us the last joke you heard?
TETIANA: “I know an ideal solution.” I laughed so hard. Though, I suppose, I was the only one who found this statement funny… One of my colleagues said this.
TONY: You’re God for a day. What do you do?
TETIANA: I abolish the job description, ‘God’.
TONY: Is it better to die or to live for eternity?
TETIANA: Well.. death looks like an egotistical choice, an alibi for doing nothing. You can change nothing when you are dead. “Well, guys, I’m dead, what do you want from me, bastards? I’m busy. I feed worms…”
Honestly? I would prefer to live. I would prefer to live and do my fucking best. I would prefer to change this old rotten world instead of rot on my own.
TONY: Why do you write?
TETIANA: It’s my way to keep my sanity and not roll into the deep. Kinda my safety valve, yeah?
TONY: Do you have a favourite book?
TETIANA: Yes, I have. It’s the book you and I are writing now.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016
