“Tell me all about yourself.”
I want to kill it. I want to hunt it, take it down and fucking eat it. I just… I just can’t tell which part is the meat and which is the stick. I sniff the air. Anise and cinnamon. Coffee beans. That’s okay, I can filter that shit out. She’s prey and she’ll be mine soon enough.
Look at the balls on this woman. I can’t believe her attitude. Does she really think she’s better than me? Really?! She must be the meat. Is she the meat? No. Yes? I sniff the air. She radiates tinfoil confidence. I’ll take care of that, you stupid bitch. I’m Queen around here, and there can be only one.
“Do you really want to know all about me?” Even her voice is fucking annoying. Don’t speak. Just don’t. I’ll tear your throat out and look right through the hole, fuck you. You’re not as worldly or alluring as you think you are. You’re a little girl playing among adults. Yes, you must be the meat dancing on the end of a stick and your well-groomed pussy is the stick.
Why is my moron being so fucking polite with this bitch? When I was choosing this body for my next incarnation, its cynicism and loutish behaviour were the key deciding factors. If I’d wanted to indulge in pointless, puerile melodrama, I would have chosen the overripe tushy of a vain, teenage chicklet instead. I prick him. It’s just a short flash of pain. All I want is to remind the fool that we’re not here for this loathsome game of flirting.
He doesn’t react. Shit.
“Hmmm. You do realise then that I’d have to dispose of you. I can’t have witnesses.” Hearing this phrase plunges me into the sweetest, bloodiest flashbacks. Ahhh… witnesses… the red sprayed walls… the screaming… I’m grinning now. This is much better. I lick my lips.
“Perhaps I could flee and join the Witness Protection Program.” And, just like that, it’s as if the oxygen has been sucked out of the room, killing the shit-eating grin on my face. Witness Protection Program?! I’ve never heard such obscenity! This mongoloid is actually confusing ‘Elimination’ with ‘Protection’?! Ugh! Mental slug!
“It depends on how valuable your testimony is.” Whore! Cheap whore! That’s it! I glare at the glass near her. I’m going to strike the water of the Nile and the fucking river will stink. Dead fish will wash up on all shores. Birds will drop from all skies. To this purpose the feathers on my nape stand on end. The water in the glass starts to darken…
“Well, first I need assurances. Is your pussy willing to sign a non-disclosure agreement?” My simpleton smiles. Distraction. What the fuck?! No, he’s not leering, is he?! He’s openly directing his gaze at her crotch?! Fuck you, you pathetic carcass! I’m exchanging you for something more suggestible, more pliable. Yeah, you’re dead! You get me? I’ll pulverise you! I’ll blend you until you’re a fine layer of carcinogenic dust smothering the land! No. Boils! Festering boils will break out on your skin! On all men! And I’ll lay waste to your smile – dopey paratenic host – after I’ve oozed and dripped from your pores with blood, pus and ink…
Then a chaldea brings cups full of stinky brown slop. He removes the glass of water. What? What the fuck?! Bring that back you fuck! Where are you going?! Fucking fuck!
Flutes and sistrums. Singing and laughter. Oh, how sweetly the wine besots and infatuates me. I purr… Oh, Bast, goddess of cats… Oh, Bast, goddess of earthly pleasures… Teach me to enjoy my being! Teach me to love and to be happy…
WHAT?! What the ever-loving fuck is this?! Who put this vile, puke-inducing image in my head? Slop! I’ll kill the bastard! Who’s doing this? It can’t be the human dumbbell I made the mistake of commingling with – this is beyond that dull meat’s ken. I cast my eyes around the room…
It’s the cat! It’s the fucking house cat! This bronze coloured fuck with the obnoxious little chocolate sprinkles in its coat. Sprinkles? Spots! They’re spots! I’m being made this unremarkable, ill-bred moggy’s bitch?!
“Let’s get out of here?”
The air is fragranced with thyme. I am in a land of milk and honey, the land of my youth. I slink serenely among the river reeds. Oh, Bast, take me back…