Spam Sarnie #1

At Unbolt Me we occasionally receive comments that are beyond our comprehension. Sure, the individual components look like words but taken as a whole those words tend to leave us feeling hoplessly dylsexic. It’s for this reason that we forward such comments to the relevant competent authorities to be deciphered and answered on our behalf. So, without further ado, we present the first batch of spam comments and responses for your perusal. Please enjoy! *

It can be applied in a much finer mist, thereby reaching between and around louvers and into seams, joints and corners.
– Piusygi

Ain’t it amazeballs? We’ve found it steams even the stubbornest wrinkles from the trunks of elephants that’ve naughtily stayed in the pool too long. That’s the power of Industrial Grade Unbolt™. Buy it today! (Squeegee sold separately.)
– The Grey Leg-Nose Carers League

I was one of those people passing around whiskey in the pit. My bag was barely checked. Just stuff it under something in your bag.
– Ullkxidg

Hey, thanks mang. Totally rad tip there! So, if we hide the booze ’neath the stash of crack cocaine we got in our rucksack, them sniffer dogs’ll be none the wiser? Dope, bro!
– The Not Terribly Smart Rum-Runners League

Well, you are capable of that but I’m warning you, that wont do much good.
– Cbangles

If by ‘that’ you mean grabbing the nuts off a Brobdingnagian Chernobyl Squirrel and attempting to abscond with them… then, yes, we agree.
– The Rodents Of Unusual Size Fanciers League

* We dare not guarantee the validity of the information found here in case it comes back to bite us on the arse. Honestly, if you’re in need of specific advice (medical, legal, financial, gynaecological), why in the holy hell are you consulting us? Please, we implore you to seek out a licensed professional instead. We’re like Mini Minors careening through the cake stalls at a county fair. We absolutely cannot be trusted to steer you aright.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016

139 thoughts on “Spam Sarnie #1”

  2. Amazed you could spell deciphered but not dyslexic – or was that part of the joke?
    There was a young man called unbolt
    Who claimed everyone else was a dolt
    Until one happy day
    He heard someone say
    He’s just like us – and that was a jolt!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  4. This is hilarious! I love the one by the The Not Terribly Smart Rum-Runners League 🙂 These for some reason make me think about those jokes people come up with in the middle of the night. It doesn’t make sense but you laugh anyway.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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