1 I hate everything.
2 I’m standing here with a banging headache, pissing into an open storm water drain. Yes, we have those, even though it never rains here. 3 Actually, that’s not strictly true. It’s raining right now. Does not my amber stream arc so brilliantly in the sunlight? 4 And am I not doubled over with a sudden fit of the giggles at this? Oh, how pretty! 5 Oh, goddam. Shit. My head!
6 So, I’m trying to draw with some extra twirls. 7 And then I gaze with admiration at the acheiropoietic image I’ve made on the wall. 8 I’m so engrossed in this urine street art that I don’t notice an old tatterdemalion who happened to be sitting right in the line of fire. 9 Well, I notice now. He’s soaked, and he stinks. 10 I’m debating whether or not to apologise to the old dero. 11 And why am I still able to use big words like acheiropoietic and tatterdemalion when I’m clearly pissed?
12 God. Questions without answers. Life’s full of them. 13 Like, why is my carpentry business failing? No one wants to buy stools around here. 14 Am I expecting too much? 15 To have people want stools instead of parking their cheap arses on the ground with the donkeys’ own stools?
16 ‘Tasty! Splash some more down here, dude!’
17 Okay. 18 It seems my moral dilemma has resolved itself and that miracles do happen after all. 19 Praise… Elohim? Is that what I’m supposed to say at this juncture? 20 Here in the mud and the piss and animal shit, I’m wondering why someone would deliberately want to gargle down my number ones. Maybe it’s a fetish. 21 The man puts out his hand, then changes his mind and holds out an alms box instead. 22 But my bladder is empty now, so I give him an apologetic shrug instead. 23 His look of expectation sours.
24 ‘What good are you then?’
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017
unbolt me 
I think you are so depressed.
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We appreciate you taking the time to read, Shalilah. Thanks! 😀
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Love this !
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Thanks very muchly! We’re glad you liked this! 🙂
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I like this, and I like that it’s a list but not a list, and that the word list, of course, is just one letter from lost – and what letters to transpose, you know – nice.
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Hee hee! Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed our sinful list! 😛
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Methinks your stream of consciousness went over my head.
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Ba-dum-TISH! 😉
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I love this.
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Thank you! 😀
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Jesus: Can not be relied upon even to piss on oneself.
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I like your take. 😉
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One of the reasons I love you guys is that you are equal opportunity offenders (other reasons are veiled in mystery).
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Ooh! Mystery reasons as well? Now I’m curious… 😛
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I’ll keep you curious for a while. Mystery should be mysterious.
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Ooh! The potential for future answers gives us something to look forward to! 😛
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Looking forward is what makes one look longer! 🙂
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T, your scriptural take… refreshing? Hmmm, oh, maybe that tasty word is all wrong 😉
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Hee hee hee! Or maybe it’s so bad it’s good! 😛
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That could be- either way it made me giggle 😉
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A giggle is very very good outcome, I’m thinking! 😛
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Definitely 😀
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Geez…
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powerful!
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Thank you, sir. 😀
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all thanks to you, sir 😁
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