TATI: Tony, Tony… they say that female’s logic cannot be explained. But now can you explain to me your bloody male logic?
TONY: Okay, what have I done wrong this time?
TATI: Mascara Baby. Some pink-yellow mess with a vague hint of a vagina. NSFW. Chelonian Devil. A cute blood-stained tortoise with pretty questionable aggression. NSFW.
TONY: Aw, come on now! They’re nice, wholesome images, don’t you think?
TATI: Medicate (be Happy or Else). A frank picture of a woman’s genitals which do what they are supposed to do. And… antidepressants, art, depression, disappointment, failed expectations, hard choices, lemons, low self esteem, medicating, sexuality, shame… blah-blah-blah. Everything except your beloved ‘NSFW’. What happened? Did you think this bare ass IS really safe for work?
TONY: Well, I suppose it’s a little bit confronting…
TATI: Do ya?
TONY: Okay, it is, but I had a point to make. And I think I made it quite well!
TATI: Yes, Tony. You made a pretty bum point.
TONY: Wow. You should be a stand-up comedian. I’m laughing so goddam hard right now. Someone get me a roll of gaffer tape. I need to stop my sides from splitting.
TATI: Oh… that’s the most strange compliment that I’ve ever gotten. But I love it.
TONY: It’s not a compliment.
TATI: I wonder if a girl is told she could be a stand-up comedian, can it be considered a compliment?
TONY: I was being sarcastic.
TATI: Okay. So, you pictured the birth process of the most perfect, happiest being? A lemon?
TONY: No, it’s my take on the whole “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” thing. It’s an expression that I don’t think much of.
TATI: And now you sound like a christian anarchist, Tony.
TONY: Christian anarchist?
TATI: “All good men are Anarchists.” Do you agree, Tony? Can you call yourself an anarchist?
TONY: Hm. I think I’m much too conservative to be an anarchist. And what do you mean by christian? I’ve not been one of those for quite some time.
TATI: Tony, when you quote someone, you should be aware of whom you quoted at least. One beautiful day you may find yourself quoting Hitler or SpongeBob SquarePants. Quoting is a tricky thing, you know.
TONY: Oh! Is it L. Ron Hubbard? He was the one who wrote about life, lemons, and fizzy drinks, yes?
TATI: It’s Elbert Hubbard!
TONY: Well, one of them isn’t a scientologist. I know that much.
TATI: Let’s get back to bare asses.
TONY: I didn’t draw a bear’s arse.
TATI: Tony, you’re not only deaf. You’re blind. I wrote bare. Not bear.
TONY: Are you sure you didn’t mean bair?
TATI: No, and I didn’t mean briar either!
TONY: Ouch.
TATI: Yes. Especially for bare asses.
TONY: Okay. Fine. Seeing as you’re so fixated on arses, what do you want to know?
TATI: Well, why didn’t you draw a picture of a funnel?
TONY: A funnel? How would that have gotten my point across?
TATI: I think this fair lady dispenses her fine urine a bit carelessly. A funnel would be more effective.
TONY: Less messy, you mean?
TATI: Yes. Have you tried to piss into a glass, Tony?
TONY: No. Have you?
TATI: Only when I underwent medical tests. I had to prove that I wasn’t drunk or stoned.
TONY: Oh, so this was in doubt at some point in your life?
TATI: Tony, don’t try to one up me. We’re discussing your freaking art, not the details of my private life!
TONY: So, your objection to this piece of art is not the subject matter or its themes, but to the fact that her urine isn’t being collected using the most optimal means available?
TATI: Tony, please, can you sum up the ultimate goal of this picture? What did you want to declare with this?
TONY: I think it’s the depression sufferer’s way of saying, “You want me to put on a false smile and make lemonade? Here’s your goddam lemonade!” It’s a reflection on how exasperating society’s unhelpful just-get-over-it response to mental health issues can be.
TATI: Oh. Fuck me twice on a Sunday. I give up! Yes, Tony, it IS art. Amen.
TONY: Oh my. Does this mean I win our little word joust this time? I can’t believe it. Fuck me twice on Sunday too!
TATI: Shut up. I’m googling ‘exasperating’ now…
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017
unbolt me 
You are most welcome.
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😀
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My daughters health is deteriorating rapidly! I feel exactly like this picture and what people expect of me in and out of clinics.
It’s a very tricky process when the brain controls organs. We are losing transmission and reception so we mimic a lot of other diagnoses.
It’s funny where we end up and who we cross along the way.
Met a lady yesterday and the future of my novel will be the energy from crystals opening up portals to the spirit realm! Her dad has two weeks and she is charging one on the full moon and taking it to him this week.
I hope you all understand my fragile state and Aili will publish the next section soon! 🙂
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The human spirit is indomitable… even as the body is not. We’re thankful for your support, Aili, and that our mere words can speak to you through such dark times. You’re right about where we end up and who we cross along the way. We can only hope to find strength in our fragility… lemons be damned.
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Lemons be damned! 🤗 Thanks and I’m blessed to share this part of life with you! Did you see where scientist believe they have found the part of the brain where the soul lives..
The human body is just as the universe and made of the same dust and gas.
Rock on TNT 🤘🏼
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How grand that will be if that really is the case! Can you imagine it? Finding the seat of the soul? Sends shivers tingling up and down my spine at the thought… 🙂
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Right?!! and NO I cannot imagine it. They say it is the only part they found in a human body that lives on after death… It must be the soul. I need to find out who that guy was.
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I’d love to know too, Aili! 🙂
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https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/news/science/728897/LIFE-AFTER-DEATH-consciousness-continue-SOUL/amp
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Typically I wouldn’t post a link.. but I had to share this with you! Enjoy!!
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Ooh! Thank you, Aili! 😀
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Most welcome. It wasn’t my original source of info. If I come across the program I was watching on it. I’ll get it to you as well. 😉
That scientist called us immortals! ☺️ Groundbreaking Discoveries excite me! 🤷🏼♀️
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Very funny, profound and thought-provoking. Thank you.
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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I suffer from a mental illness and love this back and forth over the meaning of your artwork. I love HOW she is giving them their lemonade!
No one feels the same when it comes to art and if it starts discussion you have succeeded at not only creating a wonderful piece of art. But also opening other individuals minds to actually THINK about the subject at hand.
Kudos to you Tony. 💗👏
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I really appreciate your support, Azi. Thank you. You completely accepted this in the spirit that was intended, and I’m so grateful for that! 😀
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This back and forth was pure gold.
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Hee hee! Fanks so much! 😀
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It’s definitely ‘art’. (Duchamp’s ‘urinal’ is!). Pissing on the lemonade quote defo makes it art. And Tati’s brilliant questioning unravels the thought process behind the artwork. Conceptual….totally ‘hitting the spot’
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Yay! We hoped some of our readers would get it. So relieved and happy now! I remember my first day at art college, a teacher asked us, “What is art?” And I’ve been trying to define that ever since…
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You most definitely define what ‘art’ is because you are so conceptual…your work informs, questions, reveals…makes one stop and pay attention. And as a duo as well as individually you are both so ‘all encompassing in your approaches to artwork and creative writing. So multilayered…one keeps peeling back and finding more. (Just saying…)
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You’ve just listed everything we’ve tried to do from the very beginning. I think some of our efforts have definitely not hit the desired mark, but at least we’ve always strived to be interesting in how we do things, that’s for sure! How happy you’ve made us with your kind words! 🙂
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Tati and Tony!!! This is brilliant!!!…(bum point…splitting sides…gaffer tape…bare…bear…briar). I was in stitches!!!! Absolutely love this sketch and your amazing word joust!!! 😘😘👏🤣🤣🤣
(…and ‘pissing’ on the lemonade quote). So beautifully tongue-in-cheek.
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Bless you so much! We’re so glad that you get this, and that you enjoyed it so thoroughly! It’s brow mopping time! 😀
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😜 you guys rock!
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Blush!
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Really interesting idea. I’m wondering though if the point would have been clearer had the skirt actually covered the butt so that the lemon would have been more prominent. (And the original saying was “When life gives you lemons, buy an AK47” Of course, no one remembers this now.
Like your work.
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Thanks so much! And thank you for educating me. I had no idea that was the original saying at all! 😀
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Don’t pity me, I’m somewhat confused. Not sure it’s art or particularly creative writing. Cheers,H
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I’m not sure why I’d pity you, Helen, but I definitely thank you for visiting! 🙂
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Pity, for not understanding your creative form. Having read some of your other comments. Just apologising in advance. Cheers,H
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No worries! 🙂
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The art reminds me of Japanese Shunga without the erotic content. But then some people might get off on lemons!
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Aw, thank you! Yeah, some folks may dig lemons more than others, that’s for sure. 😛
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