A certain Rudolf called out:
I have eaten too much.
Whether it’s healthy is very questionable.
After such a greasy lunch
I really feel uncomfortable.
But I belch beautifully and smoke
Cigarettes now and then.
Lying on my heavy belly,
I chirp nothing but songs of spring.
Longingly, as though on a ramp
The voice squeals from the throat.
And like an old lamp
The wind blackens the bitter soul.
by ALFRED LICHTENSTEIN (1889-1914)
Public Domain Poetry
i walked through death’s door
and i kicked the reaper in the nuts
he was quite surprised
and even dropped his scythe
with a pained sigh
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022
Once upon a time, Tati & Tony had a small announcement to make.
You see, they’d been writing relentlessly for Unbolt Me since 2014. A long time! And although the site had been—and would continue to be—their top priority, they desired to stretch their creative muscles in other areas.*
Because Tati’s & Tony’s ambitions kept punching through the roof and plucking clouds from the sky, they decided to take a real swing at an actual real something. Something super cool and memorable. So they began this something in the month of January 2022, and soon realised that progress wouldn’t be as quick and smooth as they’d like.
Tati wrinkled her nose. Tony scratched his [REDACTED]. They may even have deserved a Noble prize for their optimism and willingness to adapt. Yes, they formulated a more reasonable plan. From now on, Tati & Tony would post on Mondays and Thursdays, not every three days like they used to. It’d still be a pretty frequent schedule, just at a slightly reduced pace. This was a good thing as not only would their readers get the chance to actually miss Tati’s & Tony’s crazy writings, they’d also look forward to each new post with even more unbridled enthusiasm than before. And Tati & Tony would have the ‘breathing space’ needed for the bold, secret project they had in mind.
In short, the adventure had only just begun. Tati & Tony hoped that their Dear Readers were holding onto their dentures. It was gonna be a hell of a wild ride from here on in!
* Of course, Tati and Tony were entirely too ethical to shamelessly promote their books and comics during said small announcement, so the peoples of this world could breathe easy. (Oops! Looks like they did it anyway!)
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022
No one should ever hear
the sky cracking open with bombs.
No one should live in fear
of what tomorrow will bring.
We think we are evolved.
We have leaders
that should serve the will
of the people.
The people say no.
All it takes is one man
to build enough power around him,
that this one man
holds a people
to ransom.
Politics is dominated
by children in a schoolyard,
small men
whose dreams shape our very lives.
The whole world must say no,
must stand together.
Peace must prevail.
Glory to Ukraine!
by CASSY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022
And he said, “For you, my Daughter, I have the best gift. An unique one. You’ll have the voice of a siren.”
“But I am a siren, Father!” Confusion was writ across her face. “I lured a bonny sailor to his death this very morn!”
“It adds not to one’s fame to send men to their doom. Try to save at least one life to tell the two things apart.”
And so her voice sounded like a warning siren from that day forth. And she saved many men from burning houses in the middle of the ocean. It was weird.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022
unbolt me 