They say the pyramids are perfection itself. Are they though? Let’s look.

No balconies. Where are the pharaohs supposed to dry their gilded gruds?

No windows. Can their indoor pot plants flourish without sunlight?

No wallpapers or furniture. How will their cats sharpen their sacred claws?

Speaking of cats, let’s take a leaf from their book. They like cardboard boxes, yes? Do you see cardboard boxes inside the pyramids? No! Only piles of rotting papyrus with strange doodles.

Cardboard boxes belong outside with their flaps open. Compact. Portable. Humble mansions with natural air conditioning. Now that’s perfection. Not silly pyramids!