Spam Sarnie #1

At Unbolt Me we occasionally receive comments that are beyond our comprehension. Sure, the individual components look like words but taken as a whole those words tend to leave us feeling hoplessly dylsexic. It’s for this reason that we forward such comments to the relevant competent authorities to be deciphered and answered on our behalf. So, without further ado, we present the first batch of spam comments and responses for your perusal. Please enjoy! *

It can be applied in a much finer mist, thereby reaching between and around louvers and into seams, joints and corners.
– Piusygi

Ain’t it amazeballs? We’ve found it steams even the stubbornest wrinkles from the trunks of elephants that’ve naughtily stayed in the pool too long. That’s the power of Industrial Grade Unbolt™. Buy it today! (Squeegee sold separately.)
– The Grey Leg-Nose Carers League

I was one of those people passing around whiskey in the pit. My bag was barely checked. Just stuff it under something in your bag.
– Ullkxidg

Hey, thanks mang. Totally rad tip there! So, if we hide the booze ’neath the stash of crack cocaine we got in our rucksack, them sniffer dogs’ll be none the wiser? Dope, bro!
– The Not Terribly Smart Rum-Runners League

Well, you are capable of that but I’m warning you, that wont do much good.
– Cbangles

If by ‘that’ you mean grabbing the nuts off a Brobdingnagian Chernobyl Squirrel and attempting to abscond with them… then, yes, we agree.
– The Rodents Of Unusual Size Fanciers League

* We dare not guarantee the validity of the information found here in case it comes back to bite us on the arse. Honestly, if you’re in need of specific advice (medical, legal, financial, gynaecological), why in the holy hell are you consulting us? Please, we implore you to seek out a licensed professional instead. We’re like Mini Minors careening through the cake stalls at a county fair. We absolutely cannot be trusted to steer you aright.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016

139 thoughts on “Spam Sarnie #1”

  4. The Grey Leg-Nose Carers League – liking it! as well as the rodent fanciers.
    On a side note, I’ve noticed my spam has become almost poetic in the last half a year or so. Instead of gobbledygook, there are robot generated poems trying to sell me domain hosting.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Yep. Just love it when a supposed “Automotive News” spam site wants to know more about “sites like yours” (meaning one of my astrology sites; yeah, SURE you do!)

      Liked by 2 people

    • Or the trackback / ping from “asdlfkasjd” or the one who asks “who [my] hosting solution” is on a WordPress.com blog or….

      Liked by 2 people

    • OK, here is one more [said with a completely straight face]: makes you wonder what kind of spam the PORN webmasters get! 🙂 [OK, that’s a “bad mental image.” 🙂 ]

      Liked by 2 people

    • 🙂 I have a nudie pics blog I run mostly to compare how much traffic it gets (versus a non-nude photoblog versus astrology versus general writing). JUST got this in: “It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or advice. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this
      article. I wish to read even more things about it!” to this post: https://risquebizness.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/mec/ NSFW Warning! NSFW Warning!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks! I really do try to have fun with the NSFW blog. It is a mix of pinups and sometimes stuff so kinky it makes ME blush (and I am the guy posting it). Pretty good traffic and sometimes AMAZING click-thru levels (i.e. >6 per visitor).

      Liked by 2 people

    • They are my favorites as well, along with the really old school 1960’s and 1970’s Playboy / Penthouse centerfolds that were considered “pornography” back then but are now only barely a step beyond a Victoria’s Secret catalog. We could talk at length about this, including how that blog was born. (It started as a private email conversation between myself and another fairly consistent FEMALE astrology blogger about how to “boost traffic.”)

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks! Much education from running this: traffic is often 50% female. That caught me off guard at first, then I got it. The guys are looking at the girls. The girls want to know what the girls are wearing (or not?) when the guys are looking at them so that they (the girls) can dress like that too. I confirmed this by blogging some fashion content (very female oriented / NOT nude or bikini) and watched a spike in my traffic. The girls were sneaking in to try to find fashion trends! (Amazing!)

      Liked by 2 people

    • Which makes it all the more refreshing when you meet a woman who isn’t afraid to just be herself, don’t you think? I’m lucky enough to know such people in my own life. They’re an inspiration to me. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, completely agreed. Although sometimes I wonder if I am naive about that and just seeing the very best masters at both “being attractive” and seeming “casual.” (Ah, paranoia reigns supreme! 🙂 )

      Liked by 2 people

    • Well, I think we all wear masks to some extent. It seems to be a necessary survival tool these days. It’s when we get to know someone really well and our guards can be dropped… well, it’s a pretty special thing really. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, Carl Jung and the Personna. I agree. We do all wear masks. It is also why I like the ‘net. I can pick my mask(s), as opposed to being saddled with some accident of genetics coupled with an aging body. How does that go? All guys on the ‘net are muscled up surfer dudes and all gals are bikini models? 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Yes! The internet is the ultimate authority. Never forgot the time some guy was OWNING a discussion board topic on politics (I thought he was an idiot but others thought he was The Oracle). I ran some searches on him to find his background and discovered he was a 13 y.o. kid in middle school….

      Liked by 2 people

    • Not my generation either, but I liked the band OK and really liked this song. It is *ALWAYS* the “End of the World as We Know It” with somebody somewhere. That’s the gag, and it is a good one!

      Liked by 2 people

    • It’s certainly a message worth repeating, I think, and definitely to the religious folks I used to tarry with. There are many doomsayers within those circles, I’m afraid.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Pretty standard issue everywhere, from “Holy roller” fundamentalists to the furthest out New Agers to the “economy is going to collapse in six months” crowd. And THAT is part of why I started “Debatable News” (which, I might add, is the lowest traffic of all my blogs).

      Liked by 2 people

    • Well, I really do like to put the lunatic fringe stuff there. And, AMAZINGLY, some of those guys are right on target sometimes. I have reblogged stories and thought to myself “no way” only to see it hit mainstream news a few days later. (No doubt about it, the “fringe” guys somehow get the news before all of the rest of us.)

      Liked by 2 people

    • And long may they continue to do so. I’ve long believed that one must always source their news from as many different places as possible so that the truth can be found somewhere in the midst of all that. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Agreed on this, too. Makes me really doubt mainstream sources when I see what look like “fringe” sources repeatedly beating them (mainstream) to the punch. And, sometimes, it is better reporting.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Like the current political race. I bet this will become a three candidate race, but I have *NO* idea who might jump in as #3. But, the dissension regarding BOTH current front-runners is the most intense I have ever seen.

      Liked by 2 people

    • They BOTH worry me, but for different reasons. One is an unknown “loose cannon,” and the other is a proven disaster. Geez, what a choice to have!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ah, down under. >50% of my traffic is from U.S., but after that follow Canada, UK, Australia, and India. (Not necessarily in that order.) I would really like to work on ways to be more inclusive of Australian traffic. I know the seasons are switched. Sometimes I read the news (but it is a BIG place, so what is happening in one place does not apply to another). BTW, the astrology software I use for most of my forecasts is Australian: https://alabe.com/solargold.html and http://www.esotech.com.au

      Liked by 2 people

    • Now that is interesting. And as for being more inclusive of Australian traffic, I wonder about that too. I’m probably the most un-Australian Australian you could ever meet. Even I don’t understand my own people. 😛

      Liked by 2 people

    • That is an interesting point. A few years ago I read somewhere (a “serious” source like an academic treatise) that once people reach a certain level of thinking / publishing that they tend to become “global resources” meaning that they did not necessarily fit in where they lived (maybe not ANY particular locale) but were in fact part of a larger global community (of some topic: economics, psychology, etc.). Maybe that is true, here, as well.

      Liked by 2 people

    • I certainly feel that’s true of me, my friend. There are other places in the world I’d sooner live in if I had the means. Actually, more than that, I’d like to travel. Again, means. Hopefully I’ll find them because being in one place makes me feel like my wings have been clipped. 😛

      Liked by 2 people

    • Again, we completely agree. I am originally from the “oil patch” and live in one of the major Metro areas here (Dallas aka “DFW”), but really do not quite fit in any one area (including the “oil patch” which produced me). Travel, with a strong home location (DFW) seems the best answer. Now: how to monetize that! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Once again, serious questions here. I know SOME people make money from the ‘net (besides from porn), so HOW are they doing it? (And there are a TON of scams out there to “teach you how.”)

      Liked by 2 people

    • They BOTH worry me, but for different reasons. One is an unknown “loose cannon,” and the other is a proven disaster. Geez, what a choice to have! And, you have a good point. We all know the standard politico is not the “smartest guy in the room” (the smart guys cannot get elected; they are nerds and prone to tell too much truth to suit the public).

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ah, yes, I agree with your addendum here too. And that’s a shame really. We need people in politics to actually start telling the truth for a change. Unfortunately, politics has been and always will be a dirty game.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, and this leaves me with far more questions (pretty serious questions) than answers. By a serious question, I do not mean a “moral” question. I mean questions of psychology / economics as in “what drives this” and “is it optimal” (can it be improved?) and, if it is not optimal, “CAN it be changed” and (if it can be changed) “HOW can it be changed”… …those kinds of “serious questions.” I am thinking of things like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_efficiency (I get lost in the “LaGrange” multipliers & such, but pretty much understand the rest.)

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you. I am flattered. (Now, I would like to make enough money to have a full retirement replete with travel and multiple “vacation homes.” 🙂 )

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! We will take all the well wishing we can get! (And, if I made enough money, I might have one in Australia. Do you have a location you recommend?)

      Liked by 2 people

    • There are a number of things. Melbourne seems to be more of a cultural hub compared to where I’m from. I love the art gallery there. I love the pokey little side streets in the central business district. They have a lot of older architecture there. And trams. I love traveling on the trams! You could walk around central Melbourne forever and not get bored. I absolutely adore that city. I really do!

      Liked by 2 people

Unbolt your Comment!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.