he’s afraid to look
at the gorgon’s pleading eyes
lest her neediness
calcify his heart’s resolve
he rocked her, now wants to leave
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018
Author Archives: Tony Single
BUT IS IT POETRY? // a Pissed off Muse
Do you think
that your Muse is dead?
Balderdash!
She is tired.
She is just flat on her ass.
Yes! Dash it all, yes!
She couldn’t bear
your endless snivel,
hysterics,
binge drinking…
You, pathetic Creator!
She dumped you, dumbass!
Two talented lines
aren’t worth two wasted years… yes.
Muses can fuck up.
TONY: Tati, have you ever been pissed off?
Tati doesn’t answer. She keeps looking to the door.
TONY: Tati?
Still no answer.
TONY: TATI!
TATI: Huh? Yes, of course. Every time you ask a silly question.
TONY: Hey! All of my questions are individual quests for truth! Don’t be dissin’ my questions, man!
TATI: I’m not a man.
TONY: Anyway, there’s this really cool poem you wrote once. It’s called ‘a Pissed off Muse’. Do you remember it?
Tati looks at the wall clock, then says with a petulant gesture…
TATI: Yes, I do. I’m not such a leaky head. Not like someone I could mention in this room…
TONY: Hey! I only forget the stuff that’s not worth remembering!
TATI: Uh hum… Indeed, why should you stuff your head with nonsense like the due date for our tax returns, or when to pay for municipal services?
TONY: Look, I don’t mind living without electricity sometimes, and since when have we ever earned enough to pay taxes?
TATI: Well, this time I’m going to agree with you.
Tati keeps flitting her eyes between the clock and the door, then glances out the window.
TATI: So, do you really think it’s a cool poem?
TONY: I do! I think it’s bitchin’!
TATI: Uh hum… Well… Thank you, I suppose. May I ask why you recalled it just out of the blue?
TONY: Well, it strikes me that no one ever asks the muse if they even want to be a muse in the first place, and your poem seems to reflect this. It presents the muse’s viewpoint.
This seems to get Tati’s attention. She looks at Tony for a moment.
TATI: Yes. By the way, Tony, did you know that ‘muse’ can mean not only a source of inspiration but a creator or poet also?
TONY: Oh. Really? That… That doesn’t sound quite right…
TATI: Why?
TONY: Because muses are usually only presented as some kind of insipidly romanticised ‘source of inspiration’ (to use your words). But the whole thing’s not so romantic really, is it?
Tati’s eyes have gone back to the door.
TATI: Sigh. Never mind. Do you have a muse?
TONY: Nope. Why reduce someone to nothing more than a source of inspiration for my creative endeavours? They don’t exist purely to orbit and nurture my every brain fart, do they?
TATI: Not everyone is such an egoist, Tony! ‘Nurture my every fart.’ Many creators take their muses as higher beings, not mere servants of their creative labours.
TONY: I’m not so convinced! I can’t shake the feeling that a lot of muses are mere extensions of their creators’ egos, and therefore not considered to be the higher beings you sugge—Hey! Are you listening at all? I said ‘my every brain fart’, not ‘my every fart’!
TATI: No. I don’t sleep.
TONY: Huh?!
Tati shakes her head, as if to clear it, then continues to give the door, clock and window her full attention.
TONY: See?! You’re not listening!
TATI: Not at all. Pardon? Oh, of course, you have my undivided attention.
TONY: Are you sure? I’ve been talking to your nape for the last bleedin’ hour!
Tati sighs.
TATI: I only wonder if we can talk about something else…
TONY: Okay. Fine. What would you prefer?
There’s a knocking at the door.
TATI: Wait! Do you hear that?
TONY: You bet your sweet bippy. I wonder who it can be?
Tati starts to fuss around a bit. She goes to a cupboard and pulls out some slippers, then runs to the kitchen to brew some tea. When this is done, she brings out a huge pile of fresh newspapers and tosses them on the table.
TATI: Okay, could you get the door, Tony? I think that may be for me.
Tony answers the door. A huge, glistening penguin wearing a monocle and biting down on a pipe enters the house, brushing past him like he’s not there. It waddles towards the kitchen, its pipe leaving a trail of soap bubbles.
TONY: Oh, of course. Now I understand who serves whom, my Dear Genius.
TATI: Hush! Don’t piss off the Muse!
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018
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hushabye (black & blue)
every man a cocksure monster
every tongue a flattering lie
so let my absence fill your room
now that i am required to leave
will you speak inside my fizzy head
one last time
set the record straight
and i’ll turn my eyes to the skyline
say, “that’s the door”
every cock a father figure
every dalliance is the one
so let my absence fill your heart
now that i’m being made to leave
will you smack alive my 8-ball head
one last time
let my answer be no
and i’ll turn my eyes to the skyline
say, “that’s the door”
every oke a cocksucking ogre
every tryst yet another nail
so let my absence fill your coffin
hushabye radge, i see a door
you’ll not grieve me any more
by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018
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fluture icarus
flit away
on butterfly wings
drop pollen
off tired wings
live a day before you die
climb before the fall
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018
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Teti-à-Tête (With Tony) #11
Tati as TATI
Tony as TONY
ACT 74 SCENE 1
CENSORSHIP & PROTÉGÉS
TATI: Give it back! Give me my drawing back!
Tati jumps around Tony, trying to grab a sheet of paper from his hand. He won’t let her have it, and keeps whipping it out of reach. He’s dodging and giggling while Button sits in the corner with a resentful look.
TONY: Aw, come on. It’s not that bad, and you know it!
TATI: It isn’t perfect! Look at the tail! The hip! That eye! Give it back immediately, you vile muzzle! I need to fix it!
TONY: ‘Vile muzzle’? What does that even mean?
Button sniffs as though offended, and turns away.
TATI: You! You’re this vile muzzle who wants to make a laughing stock of me!
TONY: Tati, if you keep abusing hell out of me, I’ll post not only this cute kitty but also your drawing for our upcoming ABCs book. Your Frau Earwig looks so freaking sexy!
Tati stops jumping. Her mouth is wide open from shock. How could Tony stoop so low? She goes and sits near Button in the corner, but Button gets up and moves away.
TONY: Aw, Tati, don’t be like that! I’m proud of all you’ve accomplished since I started teaching you how to draw!
Tati turns to Button.
TATI: Can you believe how shitty my life can be?
BUTTON: I can’t believe she’s asking me this…
TONY: I don’t get it. Why are you determined to hide your achievements?
Tati’s face suddenly flushes bright red. She appears to be quite shy and embarrassed. Tony and Button look at her with great surprise. They’ve never seen her like this before.
TATI: You’re a perfect artist, Tony. Your works are blameless, flawless. And mine… My cat looks like it was in a bad car accident!
She sniffles loudly.
TONY: Tati, it’s the im-purrr-fections that make your cat… well, purrr-fect!
Tati nervously bites her lower lip, but continues to listen to Tony anyway. Button seems to have forgotten his troubles and looks at Tony and Tati with interest. Tony hands Tati a tissue.
TONY: Would you let me show your cat drawing to the world?
Tati stands there in silence, and fiddles with the tissue in her hands. After a moment, she says with an icy tone…
TATI: Do what you want.
Then she hands the tissue to Button.
TATI: Hey, Button, I think you have snot coming out of your nose.
She turns away and proudly leaves the room with a look like she’s the Queen of England.
TONY: Good lord. If this silly girl would only listen to me. I’d tell her that I fucking worked my arse off for three years to get a Bachelor of Visual Arts in Animation. And that I have featured in fucking art exhibitions and… and… Oh, who am I kidding? She’ll never listen to me. She thinks she can learn and be perfect in just two days?! Oh, women…
Tony looks at Button. He thinks for a moment, then pulls out a sheet of paper.
TONY: Face or profile?
Button beams with joy and puts on his best pose.
BUTTON: Both!
Dear Readers, there’s Tony’s cat. Do you want to see Tati’s interpretation of this? Then click on the image and be welcomed to our Patreon page! There’s no waiting in line, and entry is free for our dear Patrons! Come one, come all, and see what the fuss is about!
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018
unbolt me 