Dedicated to our Dear Patrons, current and (hopefully) future. Click on Button’s butt for a lovely surprise!
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018
Tag Archives: Patreon
Fuck-ups, Dreams & Harsh Reality
Is it the end of 2017 already? Damn!
In 2016, we published two books. In 2017, none.
In 2016, we met one time. In 2017, none.
In 2017, Tony didn’t become a heavy metal star, and Tati didn’t get her Noble Prize in literature.
But, hey, this doesn’t make us losers. After all, we have done other things! Let’s list them, shall we?
We’ve begun preparations to publish a Crumble Cult collection. Yes. In print. In three languages. Wow!
We’ve launched our very own Patreon page, and now have the financial support of some very generous benefactors. We could not do any of this without you guys!
We’ve also started some new books, with plans for more. One about cavemen. Another featuring a marshmallow tree. Yet another covering the ABCs of life. And Tati’s novel continues apace.
Tati even achieved some personal career growth. She got herself a new office, huge table and colleagues. And she got a bigger salary. But she would also be happy to kick all of this to hell and spend life as a writer of renown in some exotic, far-off clime!
Oh, and Tati began learning to draw. (Watch out, Tony, she’s going to take your job!) Tati even proved herself as a translator, and continued her education in English. So many strings to her bow!
Speaking of Tony, he got a new mop, cleaning agent and rubber gloves in 2017. He even played some exciting video games and continued dreaming of being Tati’s dogsbody in some exotic, far-off clime. He dreams big, you know!
Tony also continued to sweat over the editing of Tati’s writings, and tried to be impeccably polite about the quality of her drawings and pronunciation.
Anyway, 2017 has made us very sure that we’re on the right path. You see, Unbolt Me is no mere whim. We do crave to change our lives, and in so many respects. Just watch us!
Dear Reader, we want to thank you for walking with us every step of the way these last few years. It’s a long journey we’ve embarked upon, and we are grateful for your company. Seriously, your support means a lot to us!
Ultimately, the measure of our success will be the people who sniff the new print smell of one of our books. It’s a thought that warms us. It motivates us. And it’s you, Dear Reader, who will make that possible.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017
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Horcruxes & Uppercuts!
Dear Reader, let it be known that we always strive to fulfil our promises. Now, you may be asking what it is that we promised this time. Well, let us tell you…
Photos. Insights. Dancing elephants. Okay, maybe not the dancing elephants, but we did promise the first two things. Oh, and our immortal souls. That last thing scares us a bit as we’re both quite private individuals. There are things we don’t even tell each other!
However, Dear Reader, we pledged to make an exception for you. So, now we’re going to pull out our best pink, lacy pantaloons from our most secret chest of drawers and prance around in them. Yes, this is what we wear when we’re taking photos of our favourite things!
We have decided to show you a bit more of our real lives in Australia and Ukraine. Yes, we want to pick out the everyday, ordinary, common things that surround us in our waking hours and reveal them to you. We’ll even compare and contrast them. This could be fun! This could be educational! It could even be both at the same time! Shocking, no?
You, Dear Reader, can even vote on these… should you so wish. Who is cooler? Australia? Ukraine? Or maybe even your own country! (If so, then we demand photographic proof!) Come on, join us! This could be a wonderful bonding exercise as we all get to know each other a little better!
For our first installment we have picked a book series that we both love and own. You can find the photographic evidence over at our Patreon page! Go on! Take a look! You’ll be glad you did!
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017
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Tati & Tony: Rock ‘n’ Roll Creatives!
Любий читаче, ти розумієш це речення?* If so, you’re in luck!
Intrigued? Details a smidge later, but first things first…
For the past five years, Tony has been faithfully writing and drawing the webcomic Crumble Cult, the existential adventures of Ernest Crumb, a professional fucker-upper of life. No one fucks up quite like he does! Tati joined this creative project about two years ago, and sincerely hopes that she hasn’t spoiled things.
Recently, Tony has gone back into the archive to give earlier strips in the series a bit of spit and polish. No longer satisfied with the original text’s aesthetic, he’s painstakingly updated it to be more reader friendly. Yes, that means you, dear reader! Your comfort matters!
By the way, do you know how many strips Tony has produced so far? Button would say, “One, two… twenty-gazillion!” But let’s be realistic—it’s substantially less than twenty-gazillion, but way more than one or two. Let’s just say it’s enough to fill two or three volumes of a book series which is exactly what Tati and Tony are currently working on behind the scenes!
But even that isn’t enough for this crazy international duo! Tati has also been working her trilingual ass off to bring you a Ukrainian version of the strip. Yes, that’s right! Soon you’ll be able to read a whole book of comics that have been translated into Ukrainian, so please do look forward to that!
И конечно, мы не забыли о ‘великом и могучем’.** The Russian version won’t be long in coming.
And, if that isn’t enough, there’s also Tati’s and Tony’s Patreon page to check out! That’s where they cover their creative process in more detail. You can thrill to their behind-the-scenes misadventures until your eyes bleed in protest. What fun! (Oops. It seems they’ve been caught red handed! It’s another brazen attempt to lure you to their Patreon page and divest you, dear reader, of your hard earned cash. How naughty!)
Anyhow, it’s best not to overthink all of this. Suffice it to say that Tati and Tony can play the fools all they want… but facts remain facts. They’re preparing a comic collection. It will be in three languages. It will rock. And they’re deadly serious about fulfilling all of their plans. Just you watch!
*Dear reader, do you understand this sentence?
**And of course, we did not forget about the ‘great and mighty [Russian language]’.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017
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Teti-à-Tête (With Tony) #8
Tati as TATI
Tony as TONY
ACT 11 SCENE 7
MONEY BURNING A HOLE IN MY POCKET
Tati is reading an advertising booklet.
TATI: (calling out) Is $22 worth much in today’s economy?
TONY: (from another room) I have no idea. Depends on which economy!
TATI: (to herself) We should drink away our first income.
TONY: I heard that! And, no, we shouldn’t!
Tony enters the room, a disapproving look on his face. Tati holds up the booklet for him to see.
TATI: Look. Hennessy VS 0.5l, Gift Pack for $22!
TONY: NO! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you some kinda lush?
Tati pouts, then her face lights up as something else comes to mind.
TATI : We should spend it on something nice like… HATS! We can buy hats for doves in the park.
Tony does a massive facepalm.
TATI: (a little less convincingly) For the sake of their heads… So the sun doesn’t cook them?
TONY: Jesus. What is the difference between drinking away this money and buying headwear for birds?
Tati pouts again.
TONY: (ruefully) Well, I guess the birds would benefit more than your liver…
TATI: Fine. What do you reckon we should do with the first income from our Patreon page?
Hey, Dear Readers, would you like to read more? Would you like to know how wisely Tati and Tony disposed of their $22? Then why not pop on over here? We’d love for you to see the hard work we’ve done on our new Patreon page. There’s no entrance fee, we promise!
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017
unbolt me 