Cold water flows down my face and I open my eyes. Damn him! Again… My nose inhales fusty air and I understand that this nightmare isn’t just a delirium. It’s real… I take up the wet pen. I write ‘fuck you’ carefully in the moist writing-book. Letters are dancing and I close my eyes, but I can’t close my ears.
– She will write. She can. She’s trying to rebel but I can force her.
…give me the strength to speak and to be silent
give me the strength to be a lamb and a tyrant…
Some might suppose that this is my paradise. I would agree if it were not for one zesty detail… What would you name the paradise that you can’t leave? I call it ‘a gaol’. Do you want to debate this? No? I thought not…
…give me the strength to inflict the death-blow
give me the strength to endure the last throe…
Sometimes I try to hide myself. I squeeze my puny body into the corner behind the door and close my eyes. This trick doesn’t work. She finds me, finds me every time. I still don’t know how she does this. I’m always on the alert yet I’m always taken unawares. She moves like a weasel. She has small sharp teeth and eyes like gimlets…
…give me the strength to hold the king’s crown
give me the force to stay the court clown…
– What are you mumbling? Stop it! You can’t fool me! I know you from the ground up! Write! Stop talking! Write! Write!
…give me the strength to lift up the baton
give me the strength to stop the marathon…
She bends over me. Muses are the most cruel and pitiless creatures.
I curse the first fucking day when I wrote my first poem. I curse the first fucking day when I saw her small sharp teeth and her eyes like gimlets.
I curse the first fucking day when I smiled at her. She…
My Afflation. My Curse. My Muse… I lose my consciousness. Finally… (to be continued)
by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2014
I like your post a Muse. Honest, I didn’t read it until after I created my webpage a Muse. Great minds think alike I guess. You have wonderful creative content here.
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Thank you so much for saying so, Nancy. We’re grateful that you dropped by to check us out. It’s funny how creative minds can sometimes follow similar themes, isn’t it? 😀
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You really sparked my interest in a Muse! I previously said I didn’t know if I had one yet. But maybe you helped me to consider one? Calliope? I’m hoping to post – “IN LOVE WITH A MUSE” soon on my blog. Thanks for this Nudge!
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Tati salutes you, Chuck! 😀
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A muse born from pain is unrelenting, one born from joy no less so, though the latter is more pleasant to be reminded of. Nice post and thank you for the like, really surprised me.
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Your comment is very much welcome here. We want to thank you for visiting, and please keep up the good work on your blog, okay? 🙂
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I will try to keep on posting, and try to be more consistent over the next few months. As consistency seems to be the one thing holding me back the most. Again thank you for the inspiration to keep going on.
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You should only post as often as you are able. While a regular posting schedule is a good thing, it’s also better to post something occasionally than nothing at all. Good luck! We’re rooting for you! 🙂
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A lovely piece of writing I came across after really long 🙂
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Thanks so much for visiting with us, Gargi. It’s appreciated! 🙂
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This is my first read from your blog and i am still in awe you like my post. I must say your Muse is thought provoking, and i am inspired to keep on writing, as i am new to blogging.
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Please do keep it up. It’s one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do, believe me. And thanks for visiting with us at Unbolt Me. We appreciate your support! 😀
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I appreciate your comment and much more as an encouragement; i will do my best to carry on blogging.
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“Muses are the most cruel and pitiless creatures.” Solid.
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Agreed. Tati has a way of summing everything up in just one short line, don’t you think? Thanks for visiting with us, Christopher!
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Simply amazing..
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Tati thanks you! (And thank you for reading!) 🙂
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The pleasure’s mine!
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I’m not even sure what I just read. But it was beautiful. This sort of content will get you love.
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I quite agree. It’s gotten Tati plenty of love and admiration so far. Thanks for reading! 😀
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Im lucky to have a good lil muse. I dont have the time to write all the ideas, but I keep them safe…if only I had the cash for an editor. Muses are good, edit gremlins are my curse lol
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Editors are certainly a must, I do agree. I wish we could afford one too. There are still things Tati and I miss from time to time that another set of eyes might have picked up on! 😛
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I don’t have an editing partner, and right now my big issue is style. I write in a distinct manner, that most people would even go so far as calling wrong. My main rule is “Does it convey to the reader, what you intend, precisely” so sometimes a comma or expression is changed just to set up mood. So all this makes it hard for an editor to know when to correct something and when to leave it be.
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That’s a fair point you make there. I think any editor worth their salt would take the time to soak in your writing style so as to understand its internal nuances and rules. However, I do acknowledge it would be hard to find such a person, wouldn’t it! 🙂
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Plus it would cost a LOT of money. I had one offer for a total edit at 29.000. Zeros are included for that extra jaw to the floor effect!
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Holy CRAP! That’s some serious dosh you would’ve had to fork over had you accepted that offer! 😛
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Even if I had that kind of money, it would take me a month (and so far it is) to edit myself…making 29k a month is not a bad salary lol
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I think it’s the kind of money I could only ever dream of! 😛
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“Muses are the most cruel and pitiless creatures.”
I love this sentence.
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It pretty much sums everything up, doesn’t it? 😛
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Maybe? Not sure I have found one yet. Sometimes it seems inspiration is on a circadian cycle and gone for what seems to be forever. Then when you least expect it – boom – it comes like a monsoon rain in a desert. I guess if we had to choose between living with a muse or living without one – wouldn’t we rather deal with it rather than face a blank piece of paper or screen – forever? That is torture to me.
Great post!! Loved this line – Letters are dancing and I close my eyes, but I can’t close my ears. Along with many others. Perhaps you might be interested in the process I have to go through to give birth to a poem? “The Reluctant Poet” on thereluctantpoetweb.wordpress.com
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Thanks so much for visiting us. Really appreciate your thoughts on the muse and the creative process! 🙂
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