Tag Archives: Life

a Casserole (Fragment #003)

The garage was open but Henry wasn’t there. I decided to take my time and wait for him. I loitered about, staring at Henry’s gizmos, some of them with bewilderment. What is that? And what is this for?

There was a TV mounted on the wall, the sound muted. A crudely fashioned logo flickered onto the screen. ‘1000 and 1 useful devices for life and death!’ LOL! I took the remote control and turned the sound back up.

Hi! It’s me, Berta ‘Widow’ Black, and my TV show ‘1000 and 1 Useful Devices for Life and Death’. Today I’ll tell you about the casserole, because it’s an exclusively practical and comfy thing. You can use casseroles in many different ways! And I’ll prove this right now.

For example… You’ve eloped to your office closet for a little self pleasure. Suddenly, a knock at the door! It’s your stupid assistant… What should you do? Don’t panic! You should scream ‘CAASSEEEEROOOOLEE!!!!!!’ and run past your numb helper quickly.

Or… Let me say… You get your out-of-warranty brain exchanged for a new one. Your head is light now, and it sags from side to side. It’s because the wind is blowing. A casserole helps! It fills your skull, it protects your empty head from dust and insects… You can put a casserole into any place… into your bra, your underpants, into your wallet… You know your empty spaces perfectly, just fill them!

More… A casserole can make a hard upholstered sofa soft and warm. How nice to sit on a fresh, steaming casserole! If you want to bulldoze a child who has bad eating habits, you should tell him or her about the stalking of casseroles, about this embodiment of atrocity, about these instigators of interracial wars! Be sure, your child will begin to eat voraciously and slurp very loudly…

I could talk about casseroles for hours and hours… but our time is running out, alas. I’m sure, to the question “What do you need for absolute happiness?” you will now be answering, “Except for a casserole – nothing!”

Good bye, my dears! Next time I’ll tell you about using a casserole as a source of power, or as material for making a copy of Lenin in Mausoleum in 1:1 scale! Kisses and hugs! It’s me, your Berta ‘Widow’ Black and my TV show ‘1000 and 1 Useful Devices for Life and Death’. See you soon!

I was spasming with laughter. What a cool show! By the way, she didn’t just talk. She really put on a show! She filled the bras of some volunteers from the audience and even one wallet…

“Hey, Kitsune!”

Henry’s voice interrupted my ponderings. What would I fill with a casserole? His blabbing mouth, of course!

“Henry, don’t call me that!” (to be continued)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2015

Oops!… We Did It Again (GUEST POST // if only the muddy fox lives by Tony Single)

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2015-2018

Misguided

Sometimes you fly in the electric sky
and doubt… WTF am I doing here?
Sometimes you wake in a president’s tie
and cry… WTF am I doing here?
You’re a spoiled child… and boom! You’re a scapegoat
and bleat… WTF am I doing here?

Hey, you can’t win a regatta aboard a tugboat…
Stop doubt; cry, bleat. Jump overboard. Take control and steer!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2015

Haiku

I often wonder…
We waste dozens of words where
Haiku is enough

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2015

Between edges

A road… just two edges and infinity between them. To step on the edge. To diverge from the road. To live, as if you’re immortal, is one edge. To live, as if your death is inevitable, is the other edge.

Edges aren’t the road.

Let yourself be immortal. Walking on the edge. Stepping over the edge. Forget miserable time. Look at yourself without the world. Your every step, your every gesture, your every thought… immortality.

Edges aren’t the road.

Let yourself be mortal. Walking on the edge. Stepping over the edge. Take your final step. Look at the world without you. Without your every step, without your every gesture, without your every thought… mortality.

Edges aren’t the road.

You don’t like edges. They’re dangerous. But if you deny edges… you deny the road. You learnt immortality. You learnt mortality.

You learnt… edges aren’t the road.

A road… just two edges and infinity between them. You go ahead. Infinity is under your feet. You took your road.

A courageous alive creature.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2015