CRUMBLE CULT // The Last Hupper-Bupper

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

100 WORD SKITTLE // Unfrozen (Follow-up to Frozen)

Global warming had started neither here nor there. In fact, it wasn’t really happening at all. It was merely a bunch of hot air caused by a combination of baked beans and massively bearded Vikings farting.

They’d scratch their prodigiously hairy balls before getting out safety razors to shave them with. Their scrotums needed to be shaved carefully so that sparks from the friction wouldn’t set off a fire that burned away the Earth’s atmosphere and everything on it!

Unsurprisingly, that Once Upon a Time that was stored in the freezer began to melt, spoil, turning into a disappointing denouement.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

100 WORD SKITTLE // Frozen

Once Upon a Time, it was thought that all the Once Upon a Times in existence had run out. However, those in the know insisted that one remained, and that it was embedded in permafrost deep in the icy North where only massively bearded Vikings with prodigiously hairy balls dared to tread.

Such a fellow had stashed one in his freezer, mistaking it for a Happily Ever After that he one day planned to pull out and savour over a celebratory ale at his wedding feast.

But this is hearsay. You can choose to believe it or not. The End.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

EARS WIDE OPEN // bussed & buzzed (liplocked)

We wouldn’t be going against our hearts to say that we wrote this one as lyrics for another sappy and silly love song. We even tried to create a melody, and Tony almost had the cheek to sing to it. Alas, we’re much better singers and musicians in our heads than we are in actual recordings. And, quite frankly, we’d have to wait until Hell turned into a winter wonderland before any famous recording companies began a bidding war for this potential… erm… ‘hit’. (Will Rihanna be pushing Beyoncé aside to perform with us any time soon? Probably no.)

Anyway, common sense prevailed, and Tony did his best reading instead. Yes, he mustered as much heart and feeling as he could, and all to the accompaniment of a wonderful track by Kai Engel of the Free Music Archive. This poem is based on a real event that holds special significance for the two authors. Perhaps you, Dear Reader, will also be able to make it your own as you reflect on your loves, both past and present.

bussed & buzzed (liplocked)

we kissed on a jetty high above the fishes
where warm swells loll in gentle squishes
where sundog sprawls over planks like a cat
and morn’s dew hangs tight like an acrobat

we kissed on a jetty ramshackle and treen
where birds chirp loud in kerfuffle and preen
where air tangs the nose, spicy and salted
and time’s put on hold, stately and vaulted

sometimes dreams do come true
sometimes no
sometimes love says to you “adieu”
sometimes “hello”

we kissed on a jetty ’tween shanties bareheaded
where moorings in summer are a web of ropes threaded
where jong-jong gently knock wood together
and pair to wrest free from seabed’s tether

we kissed on a jetty scalloped and shelled
where stormwater drains acapella and meld
where the sun swings low beyond the equator
and nestles sleepily in an extinct crater

sometimes dreams do come true
sometimes no
sometimes love will gift a horseshoe
sometimes a blow

we kissed on a jetty ’neath stars’ cutting swathe
where moonglade outlasts nude lantern’s bathe
where anemones bloom below neptune’s throne
and crabs sleep like heirs under mossy stone

we kissed on a jetty at the mouth of time’s flow
where the days are real quick and the nights are real slow
where ardour pulses through the veins of conviction
and temptation receives cupid’s benediction

sometimes dreams do come true
sometimes no
sometimes love colours you blue
sometimes yellow

Text by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
Audio by KAI ENGEL & TONY SINGLE
Image by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

Open-Source Poetry #4

Dear Readers,

Our communal Open-Source Poetry experiment continues, and it’s proven to be just as popular as when it first began! Your fine efforts have helped us to craft a fabulous new poem so far. We cannot wait to see how it turns out! Freaking awesome!

So, anyway, we received about thirty-five submissions and had a really hard time picking only the one. Moreover, someone threatened us with mob law if we didn’t pick a particular line, but we dug our heels in and remained staunch straight shooters. (Hullo, Son Of Dewangan! You can mail us the cockroaches any time. We’re not afraid! And our address is… Erm, actually, let’s just forget about that little detail for now…)

Oh, hey! You know what else? We’re on the cusp of a New Year! Can you feel the excitement and anticipation? We totally can, so please do keep your contributions coming. We love everything that you, our Loyal Readers, have created so far. Sodio1 wrote the next line, so please put your hands together in appreciation for a job well done! Truly, utterly excellent!

Okay, no time to waste! Let’s move onto to the next round, guys. Knock our socks off! Knock ’em right off ’cos we can’t wait to put them on again! (Yup, we’re a bit strange that way.) Oh, and for those that need a little reminder of how this all works…

1) We provide the next line of the poem.
2) You write the following line.
3) You submit your line via the comments section of this very post.
4) We pick the line we like most and add it to the poem.
5) We publish every line to date in a follow-up post.
6) Steps 1-5 are repeated until we have a masterpiece!

WOOHOO and a Happy New Year! Hoo YEAH!

Вензель

What if I said sorry for saying sorry all the time?
Or should I just give you a baby porcupine?
Alas, it will be one and the same outcome
Saying sorry results with quills in your bum

From now on I will change my approach
And make the pine and quill my coach
My steel derriere, my impenetrable armour

Вензель_нижний

by TETIANA ALEKSINA, TONY SINGLE, PHOENIX RISEN, ARTSYCHICK82 & SODIO1
© All rights reserved 2017